Day 1 - 6 Week Challenge

(Whoops! I never posted this - This is from Monday the 23rd)

I didn't know when I woke up today that I was going to get back into action - but today is the start of a new challenge my friend on FB initiated. She's a Beachbody coach and she's offering the winner(highest % of weight loss) a Beachbody program(TurboJam, PX90, Slim in 6...and more) or a 1 month supply of Beachbody's Shakeology ~ which I hear is just the best of the protein shakes.



So - this prize has motivated me!!!! I personally wish this would start in a week or two when the kids are back in school and I can give a little more attention to diet, but today is just as good as any!!! She's recommending a 6 day a week program alternating cardio and stregth training days. This won't be a huge step for me, although I need to work around the summer schedule a bit harder than I have been. The hard part for me will be dieting. Ugh!!! Eating is so complicated now a days!!!



For anyone who's been reading my blog(or if you've read back just a few entries) then you'll know what we're trying to eat clean - more wholesome foods that have not been processed. It's not just about organics, but that's also a part of the clean eating. Eliminating pesticides and growth hormones and antibiotics... I still struggle with this. I just haven't found the time to pre-prepare the foods we eat regularly. Like bread. My nemisis. I probably shouldn't eat it at all, but sandwhiches are a big part of our family's life.

So here's to a new start and to new motivation!!!!

Limbo

I know - everyday should be a healthy day where I live out my healthy choices and new healthy "lifestyle." I wish I could say that were true. But "dieting" is hard for me. And I do go through spurts of healthy eating, and I am not against it(although I'm fairly "against" salads right now...) but I am currently in limbo and will return to the "healthy lifestyle" soon. aka diet.

I know I have the wrong mindset... but this is where I'm at.

I plan on returning to this focus when the kids head back to school... when the distractions of good weather fades away. When I can regularly make it to the gym, I will begin the healthy choices and healthy habits. Are they really habits when they depend so much on other circumstances?

My mind is so distracted. I find it so hard to focus or to organize anything. My mood (aka hormones) are all over the place. mostly down though. I think that the excitement of Celebration (annual BeautiControl conference) excites me so much - gives me great hope and opens my mind to possibilities... that now I'm realizing and falling short of those hopes. I want to get to the next level of BC - which I'm not sure what that means, but I want to do well at this! I really like it and there's something about the success that I really enjoy. But here I am, struggling to have spas and to make a bit of money - because I have some bills that come from this money. Maybe that's what's stressing me out too.

I'm sure alot of my weightloss efforts are wrapped up in my BC endeavor. It takes alot of my focus and can easily disrupt my mood. So, this month in particular - I put alot of effort into BC... and there are ups and downs. And I keep trying to think about how fine tune my spas. And something has to fall to the wayside...

So, did I meantion I was distracted? Because this post seems to be all over the place. But I hate to deleate it and rewrite it...

Good start!

Today was a good day! I made it to the gym - EARLY! I wasn't even trying, I just got everyone ready and we went! I had my HRM and by the end of it, I burned 1200 calories!!! I mostly did cardio. 30 minutes on the cross trainer, 10 minutes of abs, the 30 minutes on the treadmill. I had a new song - Black Eyed Peas - I got a feelin. It's kind of a BeautiControl thing... and it really motivates me to move... so I ran alot of the 30 minutes.

I ate really good today too, except for the margarita with dinner, but I had a salad. I was so busy today making all sorts of phone calls and doing BeautiControl paperwork that I didn't have much time to eat. Or snack! That was the big thing. Plus there's nothing good in the house - guess I did a good job shopping this week!

Tomorrow - the gym again!

oh - and my pants fit better today! and I'm not just saying that because I streatched them out... and I've officially maintained my weight for the past 2-3 months. better than gaining I suppose. Good start!

What is "Real" Food?

Ever since we watched "Food Inc" a couple months ago - I am continually looking for more information about how our food is produced, processed and what's in it?! Produce is not just produce anymore... and "healthy" is suspect. I have many thoughts here - so I apologize if I'm talking in circles and don't make any sense.

I was in deep conflict initially because I was in the midst of Weight Watchers. I was doing pretty good and enjoyed learning ideas of what to eat at meetings... how to stretch your points. How to eat more, enjoy more and still loose weight.

And then I watched Food Inc... realized that our food is contaminated with pesticides and engineered to be made cheaper - but not necessarily "healthier" for our nation. That our meat is full of antibiotics and growth hormones... and not only does this seep into our food - but what it does directly to those who work in those conditions - it's horrible! and I'm worried for my kids being over exposed to that stuff.

So I go home and start to open a WW bar for 1 point - and realize that what WW considers a great choice for their diet - is not a healthy choice for my body. WOAH! What?! Diet food isn't good for me? And it took some time but what I've learned is to open my mind a bit and realize that all those things on the ingredient list is not food - but a product of food science. Overly processed to conjure the idea of sweetness.

I am very thankful that at the same time I had borrowed Jillian Michael's Master Your Metabolism book... and she was touching on the same thing! But for a different purpose. She emphasized that all this processed junk is confusing our body. And it doesn't know what to do with fake sugars etc... so our bodies adapt - but then different things(like thyroids etc...) get out of wack and our body doesn't work the way it should.

So - as a family we're adjusting. The one area we have trouble adjusting to 'whole' real foods - is our snacks. I still buy the favorite snacks for my husband and kids - although I was able to buy some organic without any fuss. But I just don't have the time to bake up some stuff. Bread is another issue. We go through 2 loaves a week - probably pointing to the fact that we really should switch to organic.. but at $5-$7 a loaf - we just can't afford it! Plus noone would like such 'heavy' whole wheat bread. And I haven't started baking bread either... sigh...

And - I'm sure your starting to realize - I'm becoming a food snob. I don't want to be - but I'm seeing the signs. I passed a lady in the store today - her cart wasn't too full, so I could see what she had quickly. She was on a diet. She had bagged lettuce - the cheapest the store offers. Some veggies to go with it, rice cakes, and some kind of 100 calorie snack pack. And I just wanted to pull her aside and tell her that despite her good intentions - she wasn't being very good to her body. But as a nation we're clueless to what's going on! We see on the morning talk shows how some new study says that nutrition X is great for our bodies - and next thing you know - everything on the shelves have this great nutrient we've been missing! But what we need isn't from a box at all! What we need is what God intended us to eat - and I don't remember the day he designed boxes and grocery stores and marketing strategies...

So I'm starting to read 'In Defense of Food' by Michael Pollan. I've read enough to know that I need to read his first book! But I'm excited to absorb some more information.

I know eating whole foods is hard. It didn't happen over night for us. We still eat out - alot. We still eat frozen pizza and some convenient foods. We go back and forth on lunch meat. Again, it something we should totally switch on because we eat it so much - but the stuff without nitrites and nitrates is just not as good! And events and picnics are hard. But we've switched on some key things - meat and poultry, all dairy, all things "diet" except the occational diet coke. I've actually switched to organic lemonade for the mostpart(at home) it's just eating out which is just not right without a diet coke! But I must say - even that is changing. When we initially cut everything out - I could take a huge difference! Diet coke just tasted like chemicals to me! It was gross! And even now - cookies and sweets that have been shleved - all I can taste are what I assume are preservatives. I NEED to bake some cookies so I can enjoy a real cookie!

So I guess that's it for now. It's on my mind alot. I find it hard to think beyond what I've always know as "diet" or "healthy". Since it's sumemr - I've bypassed some of the organic choices for local produce. Not sure if that's the best choice... but I think so. From what I've read it's the main staples of the country(corn, soy, wheat..) that are blasted with pesticides because of the monoculture they're grown in. But in smaller farms that isn't the case. But who's to say really. The best thing you can do is ask.

Summer Stress!

I'm not sure why August is turning out to be so stressful, but it is. I think it's the desire to cram in the last of summer activities but you've already obligated your time elsewhere.

We do have a few additional stressors right now. The first is Mike is currently interviewing for a few jobs at a different company. The whole idea of switching companies and the "what ifs" really get to yah! Also - our dryer broke and is not worth repairing. So we're looking for a good scratch and dent. And then tonight I rear ended someone. totally my fault. Hope the insurance doesn't go up to much for that!

And the biggest thing in my life is I'm getting my BeautiControl business off the ground again. I'm not happy with doing only 1 spa a month - I want to grow it into something a bit more. I want to do more spas a month - so it's taken me a bit of work to do that, hosting a few spas myself... following up on some leads - but now I've got 3 outside spas this month. I'm pretty happy with that! Although I think I'd like 1 more... maybe I'll get it at the spa coming this next week.

So the depressing part of all this - and I'm hoping my monthly is to blame, but nothing fits. I'm not comfortable in much of anything. The worst was my shorts which I had to inch up every time I was bending. sigh.... I don't want to go there! I've only put on about 3 pounds, but I think I'm loosing muscle. This next week should actually be normal, so I should get to the gym more. Hopefully I won't forget the kids gymnastics class again! Again, stressful week!

I did eat most of a pan of brownies... and I've been eating whatever I want. I was going to be "healthier" by eating a lunch meat sandwich. But I think the turkey went bad. so I tossed it and had a meatball sandwich and mashed potatoes. with extra salt.

I love reading all the blogs with pics of all the healthy things they've eaten. They must have a crazy easy way to upload those photos. And they must not have kids - because every meal is whole foods prepared. Sure they save some for lunch leftovers the next day- but seriously - where did you find the time and energy - and creativity?!?! I'm thrilled with my natural chicken and steamed broccoli and REAL mashed potatoes - lumps included! (with organic butter and milk...)It was goooood too! Sorry -no pics here!

So I'm trying to to fret about money. We have alot of plans this week - all my husband's doing... so he better not complain. But we're taking the kids to see Toy Story 3 for the first time(we're so negligent). And we have dinner plans with friends on Monday - plus we want to see another movie - not sure if we can extend the babysitter that much! But we need to buy a dryer and now the car and will we take a pay cut for this new job? Not likely - guess we'll find out how much Mike wants the job... That's why I relax when I think about my BeautiControl... I just relax knowing I have spas on the calender, and although I am out of my comfort zone at time - making calls or asking the questions... we all have a good time and I get some money in my bank account.

And this next week - I will exercise and eat slightly better... not going to make any grand promises!!! but exercising will help control the food cravings... hopefully I'll get to the gym in the morning... depends if Mike insists on shopping for more dryers! Better than me goign to the laundromat again.

Calling All Moms!!!

Hello? are you out there?

I'm reading alot of blogs lately - I find them very motivating in my weight loss journey... but where are all the moms? It's all these women in thier 20's and 30's who work and are cooking these amazing meals that include whole ingredients - half of which I've never heard of! And then trying to fit in exercise in the evenings. Which is very cool - and obviously I'm attracted to a certain type of blogger.

But I could never do exactly that! the kids would never eat that unique of a meal - I'm not sure I want to! and then you need all the prep time and clean up time... that would certainly be interrupted... it's just not so cut and dry.

And exercise is my problem right now. My schedule is not my own. This week is VBS and gymnastics. Plus I'm driving a friend's son to and from VBS a couple days this week - and it's all during my morning gym time.

I'd like to see a young(er) mom who is finding ways to eat healthy and fit in exercise - so maybe I can glean some ideas from her... but she obviously needs time to blog all about it- so I can read all about it!

So - maybe this will have to be me! Although I don't think I'm as good of a writer - or have the time to devote to it... but I guess I just need to get over myself a little. I am surprised though at how few friends I know who really spend a lot of time exercising and all that. They diet more, I think. And I lack discipline - so I don't relate to that as well.

I guess this brings me to another topic in my life - friends. I'm having trouble relating to people lately. But I think it's because we're in different seasons of life. People make friends that are convenient. For example - if our kids are the same age - if they're in the same activities and classes - it's MUCH easier to maintain those friendships. And now that it's summer - it's gotten a bit harder. Friends I saw alot during the winter months at church or regular activities - aren't going on - and so if I want to maintain those relationships - I need to call and make an appointment, I guess! sorry, playdate. And then bitterness and loneliness creeps in, because noone is calling me. It's quickly a slipperly slope of self pity- and I try not to let myself get there. It's summer - everyone is busy. I can't change anything but my attitude and go from there. sigh...

It's a journey... right?

I can't belive it's been almosta month since I've written anything. Several times I thought I shoudl write something... but I figured - "who's reading it anyways?!" and I'm not at a good point at all. And I don't really want to record the struggles and failures. I'm not proud of them.

Well, here's what's been going on the past three weeks. It's not the sole cause of my decline, but it certainly attributed to it. June 27th Mike went out of town. We went to the amusement park. And at lots of unhealthy junk. But we dont' go to often - oh well. Of course, I was about to start my period, so I was craving junk anyways - and I didn't care - so I ate whatever I wanted, eating out ALOT.

Then on June 29th - our aniversary - my father-in-law died suddenly in a car accident. It was aweful. He was only 51. It seems so unneccessary. Not unfair - because he made poor choices that day - but so unneccessary. He left a big whole in all of our lives. Even though he's not my direct family member, I'm still tore up about it. I'm upset for my husband - who lost one of his best friends, for my children who lost a great Papa, for my bil who lost his father, and for my step mil who is feeling so alone so suddenly.
Anyways - this is not a post about his death, but rather an explanation of where I've been.
So because of his death - I went with my daughter and other family members on a car trip down to Alabama where he lived. We were gone 4 days. We were fed very well. He was active in his church and the church family did a wonderful job reaching out to all of us. And they cook pretty good. (Well, except for the southern greens and stuff - yuck!)

And since then, still in period mode, just don't care mode. It's almost amazing when I cooked a meal. And all I want is a greasy burger. I did eat a few salads along the way - but not much. We were given a fruit basket which was very thoughtful. And pretty good too! But I haven't persoanlly eaten much of it.

I'm just starting to get back into the exercise routine. I went to my favorite class on Monday - but it's a different teacher. This Monday class IS NOT my favorite class. It was alot harder and organized diffrently. It wall all cardio for the first half, then strength training. On Friday the instructor mixes it up like circuit training. And looking at my HRM, I think Iburn just as many, if not more calories with the circuit training and I'm not as dead. This class got my heart rate up to 101%!!! My MaxHR is 190... which I never get to. I'm usually 186, maybe 189(but not recently) but Monday I was at 191 at one point... not sure if that's healthy.

Did I mention I quit WW? I quit the day after my fil died. I knew I wasn't doing it anyways - and I knew with such a big change in our lives - I did not need to pretend I was doing it. I had temporarily joined Jiliian Michael's website. I quit that too. I'd rather use spark people for tracking food and Jillian's videos if I'm goign to do circuit training.

So right now we're trying to put our lives back together. The house needs put back now that Mike brought back a bunch of his father's things. The gardens are horrendous... our diet is awful, our workout routines are forgotten... there is no routine really. Slowly and surely we're trying to readjust to things again. Mike went back to work yesterday after 2 weeks off. It was hard for him. I knew it would be. sigh...

Life's a journey - right?

Oh, I am determined to get back at it... although I know diet won't come right away. I don't have the discipline right now - or the time to calculate everything. But already I can tell I'm loosing the little shape I had... My stomach doesn't seem as flat... clothes are a bit tighter... I don't want to get bigger!!!! I don't want to get over 200lb again! I'm in danger of that... so I need to pick up the exercise at the very least and cut back on my eating. I am indulging every chance I get... I need to stop. But it's harder this time.