Oh, the mental games we play....

I'm discovering something about myself. I hope I can explain myself clearly for others to understand, because I'm still trying to figure out the best way to say it. Who knows, maybe this will help free someone in their routine. I feel lately as if I'm being productive in my weight loss journey. No huge losses as of yet, but headed the right direction with lots of healthy choices each day. And it seems kinda easy. And I wonder why and how that is. Well, this is what I've come up with. I do better with loose boundaries than firm defined lines. Let me explain. If I make a plan, or follow someone else's plan that says 5 vegetables a day, workout for 60 minutes a day, 25 grams of fiber, and no more than 50 carbs in a day- well I'm gong to fail. We probably all would.. That's too much. But even just one or two of those 'rules' is almost too much for me. (And did you notice I said fail? Soooo black and white.) Let me explain again. I do better when I decide(nonchalantly) that I want to work out most every day than having to workout everyday. It's too much mental pressure to keep up with that routine. Sure, skipping a day isn't a big deal, but I did cross that firm line... Now my routine is off... Blah blah blah. Same thing works with diet. If I decide to try to eat less carbs, I do better than trying to keep my carbs in an acceptable box. That makes some foods 'bad' and some good. Mental games! So despite my crazy backward mind game I play with myself to trick me into continually making healthy choices- it seems to be working. I noticed today, that despite not officially starting my Turbo Fire workout, I've done 3 or 4 workouts Ina row- mixing them up. Kinda sounds like I'm starting. Hmmm.... I'm also tracking really well. I even did an extra workout tonight because we went to Pizza Hut. Yum!

New Year

Hey it works! I was having some problems/ glitches accessing my blog, so as the astute problem solver I am, I just quite trying! I definitely have missed it, and it's probably more of a journal for me than a helpful blog for others, but oh we'll. It is what it is. So it's a new year and been a long time since I've blogged. The last post was about my P90X adventure. I completed 3-4 weeks of the program. I was slightly discouraged by my results, although I'll admit my diet might not have been perfect, not because I didn't try, it was hard to follow. I also came to understand, begrudgingly, that this was more of a muscle toning/ building program(duh) and despite my hopeful aspirations to drop a bunch of weight, it wasn't designed to do that. I need a fat loss program. So where am I now? What have I been up to? Well, I discovered My Fitness Pal, a wonderful tool to track calories and exercise. I was losing about 1 pound per week on that. Not very fast. So I attempted to carb cycle for a week, then two. Couldn't commit to that second week. Takes a lot of dedication and diligence. I could do 1 week and had good results. I did put all the weight back on. I learned a valuable lesson, I can't try extreme programs because it's too hard to maintain and when I fail I will enviably *binge* in my own way. I don't really binge but I do over eat and have a lot of cravings and fall off the band wagon. So slow and steady is my race. I don't like slow and steady. But 4-5 pounds lost per month is better than 4-5 pounds lost and 5-6 pounds gained! Currently I have put on some Christmas weight despite my husband working with me and both of us trying to prevent this for ourselves. I'm at my highest of 206, actually 204 as of today. Although, my continuous New Year's setback at starting anything new is my birthday, January 6th. Not even a week into the new year and cake is a requirement. Plus leftover cake. Come on people! So I haven't started anything too rigorous except tracking my calories. I started using my heart rate monitor, which has encouraged me to try new workouts(I now own Zumba and Turbo Fire). I may start TF in the near future, my husband has even agreed to do it with me! Zumba was a bit of a disappointment, although I haven't tried all the workouts. I love the classes I have attended at the Y, but the videos are a bit slow and don't seem to motivate me to move and dance as much... I don't know why. Maybe as I learn the routine a bit more. Turbo Fire is a great workout. It's definitely high intensity and I think my body will adapt to handle it. I don't always like a high intensity workout though, I'm kinda lazy. But the elliptical is a bit of a bore and not enough of a push for me. So reluctantly, I should strive for the harder workout. Not the best attitude for the new year. Do you read a lot of blogs? I do. And apparently all the bloggers I follow are type A list makers. Ugh.... I am not, but then they are successful bloggers! So my in-box is full of lists of books to read and ways to organize your kitchen and your life, goals to change your life, straitened up your finances, your budget... on and on it goes. Maybe I should make a few goals. I'm hesitant to set a deadline or make a resolution for something incredible, but I still firmly believe I don't want to fuss with dieting and my weight my whole life! I certainly don't want a list for my whole year- yuck! I'd like to start with a solid plan, track my calories and do TF to completion. Sounds like a good plan. But I'm afraid it would be too extreme. It's a hard program. I've never competed a "program"... I'm not sure my husband is up for the task either...it would mean early mornings for us to do it together(to keep him invested) and I just don't have the energy to do that. I have the time to exercise I just need to commit to it and plan so I'm not overwhelmed, Well, I'll get back to you on what I decide and what I start to do. Right now I have a birthday to plan for!