Disney Weight Loss Goal: Deadline: October

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


Okay - I had lots of thoughts today - so I can't forget to write them down!!!

So, mentally I'm all over the place. (insert joke here!)
In one moment I'm ready to give up and put a few pounds on. The next moment I'm ready to take charge and I can't wait to shead this fat from my body! I'm still struggling with the knowledge that I won't be making my goals before vacation - it's just a bit too lofty. But I shoudln't give up.

So here's my new goals - they're not about numbers - it's about physical accomplishments. I bought a new pair of capris - size 14. I really like them, but they're a bit snug - little bit of muffin top included in these pants, but otherwise they're great! They flatter me, I like how they fit at the wasit - just a bit snug! So, I'd like for those to be just right, or a touch loose. I want my stomach to be flatter. I know it's not crunches alone, so I'm keeping up eveything, but I'm not goign to neglect the ab work!!!! Also - I have to say good buy to my favorite jeans - the slipt in the washer - and I don't think they're repairable. They could be, but it'd be a risk to wear them in public! Wish is sad because they're pretty new - just bought this winter - and they were nice, certainly my best pair of pants right now - although they were getting pretty baggy - so I wouldn't be able to wear them long anyways. So now I have to wear the capris. and Hopefully fit into my size 14 pants! They 'fit' but and not as stretchy, so not nearly as comfortable at the 14 capris I have. It'd be nice if those fit for the trip too!!!!

Well, I shoudl get to bed, I didn't sleep much last night... and I want to have energy for Zumba tomorrow!

Keeping perspective and motivation - barely

So, this week is slightly stressful - life's just crazy. So it's easy to slack off. Well, I ate horribly today - McD's and 18 points. I'm just glad I looked and figured out the points!!! But actually - that's what I'm hear to write about. I went to the WW tracker online to see how many points I had at lunch - and I hadn't entered my WI results for the week. So I did. And it was only -.6 but when I tryped it in - it said I've lost 13 pounds! a full 13 pounds!


So that gave me a spark on encouragement.

This evening I was totally just goign to buy dinner because I didn't want to cook and Mike wasn't home. But I couldn't decide where to go. I wanted Arby's - I eventually decided. But I have no idea what the nutritional info is, so I found it. Not good - none of it. Even the Market Frest sandwhiches were all over 500 calories!!! Crazy! So that was out. Because as much as I wanted to eat whatever and give into temptation - I didn't want it to be horrible.

But I wanted to get on with my night. Eventually, after talkign to Mike I decided our local Sub place - Maria's - would be perfect. Half a sub, salad and (shhh) a pizza ball - and we were on our way to the gym! I mostly wanted to go for my sanity. The kids were getting ready to kill each other and it would not have been good if I was there to watch. So off we went.

I didn't really want to exercise, I just wanted to get away - but I did. I did a different elliptical machine, it worked my legs differently - which was cool - plus I burned more calories. Not sure if it's accurate - but that's okay. I did some abs, and started on the rowing machine(wanted some upperbody worked in there) but then felt like the treadmill was calling me. So I got on and ran for 20 minutes!!!! I stopped after the first 5 minutes, but only because that's what I had done before. I think next time I'll just see how farI can go. My calves are killing me though - they wern't quite healed before this run... I think I'll try Zumba tomorrow, instead of the machines. So the day ended pretty well! not within my points... but I got 9 activity points for the day - Go Me! And actually - I went over about 10 points(as far as I can estimate on a few things) so I'm not doing too bad - could have done alot better - but tomorrow is a new day.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Weigh - In

Well, Sunday - I was ready to accept defeat. It had been a fairly crummy week. I was stressed, exercise was down, eating was sme good, some not so good - I didn't knwo what to expect today. I knew I wasn't going to reach my goals for vacation tim e- and then vacation would be bad (diet wise...) and then summer! when would I get to the gym? how can I control my eating all summer long??

Well, I went to WI this morning before heading to the gym. And as I heard I lost .6lbs - I realized, "Hey - I'm below 200!" hmmm.... I almost screwed this up! So as I walked out of the building, I had a new goal. Not to go back over 200lbs again. And then the numbers start gettign to yah. 200 is unacceptable - 150 is acceptable. not the most ideal, but much better! And where I'm at, with my attitude, I could easily gain what I've lost. - Unacceptable. Period.

So - I'm back at it - I had a great workout. I ate well today - except I shouldn't have had any snacks tonight... but they wern't too bad. I might even be within my points today. I really shoul track better.

My friend reached her goal and has lost 30 pounds since New Years. wow. How few people have probably done that - made a resolution and have done as well. Then I think - damn, I could have done that. and I didn't - I didn't put the same amoutn of effort into it. I worked out just as hard, maybe slightly less, but I didn't track my points like she did. I slacked more. Hense why I'm here in the first place - a problem with food.

And we were talkign today on the cross trainers(it's nice to work out together!) ~ and we're almost at the same place, weight wise. really? I mean - we've talked about it, but I didn't compare the numbers that closely... I don't know if she'll read this or not - and I don't mean any disrespect - but it's just another indication that my self image is all messed up! I was just about to be comfortable at 200 pounds - and then I realize - wait a minute - 200 is obese. but my image is still at 155 - which is okay. And only do I rarely see it in picture and realize - woah - I AM 200 pounds! why didn't anyone tell me? It's embarrasing!

So - I'm still at it. I have a new perspective on my goal. And I've talked about it with my friend - we are going to set a goal for mid to late summer(convention time!!!) So that we still make progress over the summer. I don't want ti give up - I don't want to be content. I see skinny girls walking (or running!) in the gym, and I just want to shed the fat and have the real me walk out. I can feel the extra fat - the layer of excess on me when I run. It's not supposed to be there - and I want it gone... just wish results were a touch faster!

I think my new mantra shoudl be - if you keep doing the things you've always done, you gets the results you always got. (or soemthign like that.)

Friday, April 23, 2010

What a day!!!

So - I think I have two posts, really - we'll start at the beginning though.

So, this mornign we headed to the gym, I was late for various reasons - one being I forgot the proper shoes!!! but I got there - missed my favorite class - but that's okay. So I did the cross trainer(elliptical) for 30 minutes - that was good! It's been a long time! then I focused on abs, because what I really want is to flatten my stomach so my shirts will lay better and of course, pants fit better. After that I thought - yah know... maybe I'll try running. I had wanted to run with my friend this morning, but she couldn't make it. She's training to run a 5K, and I knew what she was doing, so I thought I'd try. And I did. I ran 5 minutes with a 1 minute walkign break - for half an hour. I did great! especially in the first half - 5 minutes flew by!!! I ran at 4.5mph - except the last 5 minutes, I did at 5mph. Whoo Hoo!!! The calorie counter says I burned 720 Calories, that seems a bit high, but possible. I already have plans to go to the gym tomorrow - so I'm excited to do more! What I need to do is get a plan for training to run a 5K...

The other half of my post - so when I got home and showered, I thought I'd look around my closet and see what I could fine. I've already tried on some flattering shirts that fit pretty good from before Ryan... but I need some flattering shorts/capris. Well, I found a pair of old shorts - the pair that was always big and losse - and have been around long enough that there's history there - and I still remember them! They fit - nto too bad, although should be a bit looser to keep from having any muffin top. I found another pair of shorts with them - not sure when I got these, but I couldn't button them. And I angles the mirror on the closet door and sat at my vanity - it's been a long time since I've worn shorts - specially shorter shorts! and I just need to knw what I look like. Well, I still look fat. I am fat. My mental image is a bit better than my actual image. And I think I'm getting closer to those two being the same thing. In pictures from the past year - I'm just shocked at how big I am!!! I look horrible. But then, when you're infront of a mirror, you know how to position yourself to look a bit better - those camaras catch you by surprise at ungaurded moments.

So, with this revelation - it was kind of depressing, but I kind of expected it, so it's not going to slow me down. I was hoping for a miracle transformation, that all those little differences I'm noticing are actually big differences - but they're not. I'm making progress, but I've lost 12 pounds, not 50. but I wonder where this leaves me? I still want to loose at least 5 more pounds(but really want 10) before our vacation... maybe I'll be able to button those shorts... but what about on vacation - I don't think I'm going to be very diciplined. And what about the rest of summer... I know and almost plan on slowing down over summer - but it's during summer what I want to look awesome. I guess I was hoping to be close to my goal by now. But there's no point in being depressed and eating a cookie... that's not going to help. I just need to focus on watching my points and getting in exercise.

I also need a plan for vacation. and for summer. I am so not looking forward to having Paige out of school for the summer... I can't stand all the fighting and whinning... but today - we'll just worry about today. My plan today is not to screw up the progress I'm making. Starting with this weekend. At the WW meeting this week the leader had a very good point. If we relax and don't track over the weekend - that's a third of the year!!!! How much more progress could we make if we didn't slack on the third of the wear! There's always a weekend or a holiday or a birthday or a picnic... let's make healthy choices!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Feeling pretty good today - surprisingly...

Well, I've been very overwhelmed lately, Ithink because I lost a week of time before vacation - which should be a good thing! But that means I have one less week to make a difference... Also, my family is in an upraor.. g-pa is in the hospital and my mom, g-ma and now my aunt is visiting him everyday. I feel like I shoudl help or visit more, but with the kiddos and being somewhat busy at night it's really hard to do that... so now I have no idea what's goign on for the next couple days with my spare time... and it just kinda has frozen me from gettign anything done. I don't have time to not get things done...

But today - I went to Mops... and lately I've been fairly disspaointed with mops because it stresses me out whereas it's meant to be a stress releiver!!! Mops stands for Mother of PrSchoolers... it's a group of moms who get together and eat, have a speaker or craft and someone watches the kids - so we get a break and gain some sanity. Well, I help with hospitality and so I'm often busy with that and don't get to sit down. And today was no exception... but it wasn't a big deal... I just took my time and had lost of help cleaning up and setting up - everyone is working together so well! I had kid issues which took me away for a while... and normally I would be upset, but I think I'm living in the moment right now and appreciating what's going on at the time. I handled Justin fairly well, I think, but I'm sure it's because of all the people and pastor walkign around! I wouldnt' normally be so calm! but I'm working on it.

Anyways, I did eat poorly there, but I don't care. I came home and had some healthy soup. Oh - I also wore a nice shirt from pre-ryan! It fits really well, although I need to work on the lower belly buldge... and I think that's my goal for our trip, to work on my abs, especially that area. Because I want to wear these shirts that fit without looking like a pear. So I think just wearing that shirt and just being in the moment - I was feeling pretty good leaving Mops - to just be proactive with the day. I want to get a bunch of stuff done. I'm not sure I'll do my 30DS, because then I'll have to shower before my spa tonight... I get a spa night out!!!! WHOO HOO!!! I'll be pamperd tonight! so hopefully that will help me to unwind as well and not let all this family stuff stress me out.

Oh and I have to say - I just love havign soup for dinner!!! We had two different soups - then leftovers and it still leaves 3-4 servings for leftovers. I'll freeze them then I have a nice lo-cal option for lunches. I liek to have a hot lunch, and I have no intrest in the canned variety of soups. And these are pretty hearty with good stuff.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


What is happening to this week? Yesterday I turned around and got in a ton of exercise... but today - not so sure. I went to the gym with my mom, and we started with weights. Not my first choice, but I knew it was hers. So right as we were finishing that, I get paged for a sad kiddo. Apparently Ryan is needing a morning nap these days because I've been getting called more and more. So we were done. No cardio. sigh..

We went to lunch, and normally I would have ordered a salad, but today I wanted fries and a sandwich. I got a grilled chicken sandwich, but still. I did have a low point dinner planned (Southwestern Chicken Soup http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=615280 ) So point wise I'm doing okay still for the day. I'm pretty much done now. But do you have one of those worn out - depressed, let me find everything in the cubbord except some energy - and eat it kind of moods? I really should find my way to the basement and do my 30DS plus some cardio. But that just seems hard tonight. I have two kiddos, one who needs to eat and won't - the other who just got done playing in the toilet. And everyone needs a bath - three days ago.

The soup was okay - not the rave reviews people were giving it, but I think if I had used canned beans, it would have been better.

Oh - so the other point was this week - not sure when I'll work out. Tomorrow I want to let Justin play with some friends, Thursday is the same deal - my mornings are totally busy. And my aunt is comign into town and everything is up in the air. I'm supposed to have family over for dinner Friday - I have no idea what to cook, let alone time planned to clean. I just don't want to do anything right now! ~ did I mention that?

Monday, April 19, 2010

Weigh In: Week 8

Well, I had my WI this morning. I had another one of those moments where you realize what your expectations were when you don't meet them. I lost 1.4lbs putting me down to 200lbs exactly. Which I should be relatively happy with, but I was apparently hoping for a 2 pound loss(or more). I did really well this week, except for 2 meals. And with all my activity and flex points, it should be kinda obsolete. Plus I added the 30DS into the routine and I'm eating much cleaner foods.

But - on the bright side, I still LOST weight! If I wasn't doing WW, I wouldn't have lost 12.4 pounds, I know it. And I'm loosing everyweek(pretty much) so I just have to get used to the idea that it's slow and steady. I guess I'm just feeling some pressure because I discovered this weekend that out trip is a week sooner than I thought!! So, I have 1 less week to reach my goals. So I was hoping for a solid 2 pounds to get me on my way. I'm not even sure what my goal is for the trip, Is it 20 pounds, is it 10%, is it preRyan weight? Thier all almost the same thing... I guess that's why it doesn't matter to me.

Let's see:
10% = 191.4lbs
20 lbs lost = 192.4lbs
PreRyanweight = 185-190lbs (I put on 5 pounds right before I got pregnant)

I guess I would like to be at 190lbs - so that means I have 10 pounds to loose with 3 weigh-ins left.

I need a plan.

- Fortunately, my monthly is about to be all done, so that should help - maybe I have a little water weight to go away still(Lets's hope that's the other .6+ I didn't loose today!)
- I have a calender of the 30DS program and how/when I'm goign to follow it. I will not be done by the time I leave, but that's because I'm adding in another one of Jillian's videos.
- I will write in the extra gym time I can reasonable add in - week to week.
- I will track and STAY WITHIN MY POINTS!!!! I often don't finish my daily total, but I will, even if it's just to know how much I'm going over.
- I will continue to eat "clean." I'd like to see some weightloss due to this change, but if it's just a healthier family - that's the main reason for it!
- I will try to drink more water each day. This is the hardest part of going "clean." I like my crystal light - pop tastes funny to me... but crystal light is oh so nice. sigh... I don't mind water - I just don't want it all the time... somethign a sweeter drink would go nicely with my meal..

So, it's pretty much what I'm doing, I'm just going to keep doing it and be diligent. I must say - I feel encouraged and motivated now that I've finished writing this all out!!!! THIS is why I have my blog.

My worry now, is I will be diligent until our trip - then away from home I will fall apart. I will slowly and quickly stop tracking. I will eat fast food with dilight, and never order a single salad. And then it will be summer, and I will be hit with warm weather and never make it to the gym, never get a full walk in because my kids are at akwards stages. I will eat picnic food and more and more picnic food!!!! how will I survive the summer? this has happened before, this is why I'm so determined to make progress before sumemr starts. One: so I can look decent and fit into some shorts, but Two: because weight loss will slow over the summer. I'll have to loos into what my plan should be for the summer. I'd love any practical ideas...

okay - so hopefully I didn't depress myself too much. I will get my workout in during nap time!!!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Ups and downs... yup, it's the weekend!

Well, I did really well today - then I threw it out the window with dinner!

I went to the gym and did my favorite Total Body workout class! I was late - whoops! but it was still pretty good. But I skipped my 30DS, because I figured that would over do it and I want to do a good workout tomorrow. Well, I had to convince Justin to go into childcare today - and it was sunny - so I said we could go to the zoo afterwards. Well - then it started to rain. He was pretty upset and mad about it. So - we went for ice cream! We went to DQ - and the whole time I'm wondering what I could get - and we walk in and I see all the pictures of all the different blizzards... my favorite. But I do know - blizzards are Bad - double digit bad! So, Justin got his kids cone, and I sat and watched. I didn't really want it. I wouldn't normally be pulled into DQ, but I wanted to do something fun for him. Ryan liked it too!

Then came dinner. We were planning on goign out - and I was planning on making some healthy choices. But Paige had a meltdown... obviously suffering for no naps all week. There was no way we could take her soemwhere - she didn't deserve it and I didn't want to deal with it. So we got chinese. Mike is stressin lately and all about feeding that stress. And I figured, if I didnt eat chinese this week, it'd only be a matter of time before I craved it and ate it all anyways. So I didn't pay attention, I just ate - and I finished what was left.

It was good. But all I can think about it all the MSG's that contributed to the - "I need one more bite!" mentality. I don't like my senses being brainwashed. And despite eating it and liking it - I wasn't in love with it, I wish we went somewhere where I could have gotten a salad and caved for the bread or something. We're slowly and surely cleaning our food of all the extra chemicals and preservatives and additives... and can taste the difference. I can taste the difference in my organic carrots. I don't eat any more- but I can taste a cleaner difference. I don't think I'll let Paige buy lunch at school - except on the rare occation... because it's just processed food. she doesn't need chicken sticks! still learning how to make this work, but I think I'm changing on the inside - which will make it easier to change on the outside. I'm hoping anyways.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Diet Coke

One of the main things in Jillian's MYM book is how she lived off of Diet Coke and to get rid of it!!! I've read many different things about pop(please don't call it soda here!!!) and soem suggest a regular pop is better than all the diet sugars. Anyways, I've cut back ALOT. I hardly ever drink it at home, unless we're having pizza. And when we're out, I just can't stand to drink water. Well, Monday we had pizza in, and I had pop - and it tasted... I don't know, too much. But I figured it's because it's in a cana nd I'm not used to it. Then I had some out the other day - and all I can taste is chemicals... BLAH!!! I guess I'm converted. Today is just water. Now to give up the crystal light addiction. hmmmm.....

Having a strong week!

Despite Ryan's teething setback, I'm doing REALLY well!!! I have both boys down for a nap and have an opportunity to get my 30DS in! I made it to the gym finally today and got a great workout in! (Special thanks to the childcare workers who are willing to hold my child when he's teething!) I'm just pumped and eating well and all is smooth! This will last for about - oh an hour... ;) Never seems to be too long before the "groove" is disrupted! - which frustrates me to no end. Usually it's sickness(me or the kids), change in routine, monthly cycle - just about anything that can derail a good groove!! And then it takes a whole nother week to get back to where you were - so you lost 2 weeks out of the month.

Today I've also done super well with points and we're having leftover soup for dinner - so I could pretty much eat whatever I want and still be on track today -that NEVER happens! I can't wait to see if the scale agrees with my efforts! I really would like to have lost 20 pounds by our trip. I should find more soup recipes!

Well, I should really get my workout in before Justin finds his way downstairs and tells me how he "napped" in ten minutes. Then I might wash the windows... it's a beautiful day, should do something more than workout indoors! I feel like I had something more important to say - but I think I left it on the cross trainer... maybe later.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Where I'm at - What I'm doing...

Well, there's alot going on in the diet and exercise front. Let's see. Right now I'm following the WeightWatchers(WW) plan. I just started Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred (30DS). I'm also trying to incorporate Jillian Michael's book Master Your Metabolism(MYM) - which means clean eating and as much organic and whole food as possible. I usually get to the gym 4-5 days per week and do 1.5 hrs there. Although this week has not been the case. Monday was cut short because Ryan was fussy. He ended up with a fever later that evening, so somethign was up. So I haven't been able to get there, but doign the 30DS - totally whips your muscles, so I'm not sure what I could do those first couple days...

Today was VERY frustrating though. All I wanted to do was a 20 minute workout in the basement. Ryan's fever is gone so he should be pleasant, right? It took everything and all morning to get it in. Can't I just get 20 minutes here? I tried twice to lay him down - no luck. Then Justin comes downstairs, leavign the basement door open- fortunately I got there just before Ryan discovered what steps are all about. I did manage to get it in, I had to do the first circuit twice, which is the hardest and most annoying one. But I can do 30 seconds of push ups now! That's an improvement! (girl push ups... ;) )

So, I weighed myself this morning, well, after my workout, and I'm down 2 pounds - just since my WI on Monday!! Now, it's probbaly just water and bloat, but I'm okay with that!

I want to do the 30DS because in about 5 weeks, Ryan will be one - and we'll be traveling to see Mike's dad. It's kind of the start of summer for me, so I want to have good results by that time. I'd love to be at my pre-Ryan weight, which is about 12 pounds according to my scale at home. (My scale is about 9 pounds less than WW scale!!!) So I've lost 11 pounds so far, I'd like to have a total of 20 pounds gone(officially by WW scale) or reach my 10%. So I wanted to step it up a bit with the 30DS - a program that will give me results. So far so good!!

There's so much I could write about, since I'm just gettign started blogging it all, but I think that's enough for now!!

Let's get started!

Hi cyber world!!! I'm starting a blog about my weightloss journey. I'm inspired by my friend - and if I knew how to link her - I would! Her blog inspires me regularly - and as I'm going through my own journey I have alot of thoughts but no real outlet to get them out. My husband would disagree with that statement, but this will also be a great way to document how things are going and how far I've come! I'll probably post some past thought I've written in other places - I'll be sure to get started soon.