Bootcamp

Well - tonight I used every last bit of myself and took boot camp at the gym. I have mixed feelings. It's hard to repeat a class once you know what you're getting into. So I don't know if I'll be there on Wednesday.

It was alot of push ups - circuit training and then we took it outside. We ran up this big hill and then on an empty road ~ we did sprints. Lots of sprints. I probably sprinted the first three... then I just ran the rest of them. I almost skipped one. I was so out of breath. Doesn't help when you're the last one... and then start again shortly after you arrive.

But I can feel the fat I need to shead. I can feel the inner me - the this version of myself - just waiting to break out from this shell of fat. And I can feel the momentum - the speed I'll have when I drop 50 pounds. I could be up there too if I wasn't carrying 50 pounds!!! Although I put it there - I get to carry it. Not the cute blond int he front.

I feel like I've been slipping on diet and exercise and it's falling to the way side because I've lost my focus. I have no specific goal and if I miss the gym, it doesn't bother me. BUT, taking these harder classes like boot camp and kickboxing remind me of the dedication I had and want to have. I feel stronger and more in shape. I don't mind the skinny blond - I'm drawn to her. She is my motivation. I feel bad - but I'm checking out the skinny chicks as much as any guy - because that's what I want. That's my goal. Sure - my body type might be a bit different... but I'm striving for that slim look. And I know taking these awful classes will tone and chisel me to get there.

I wonder how I'd look blond?

I'll have to let you know if I go back. I think I'm up for kcikboxing, but not bootcamp... lesser of two evils, right? ;)