New Year

I bet there is alot of blogging going on about the new year!!! I'm actually pretty excited to have a written record of my New Year's Resolutions. And I've been particularly productive today - so I feel like I can accomplish alot. So I'm writing out my resolutions!

Weight Loss:
I'm very hesitant to put a goal for weighloss this year. Last year I stepping up the exercise routine - and actually had a routine and joined WW. I was only part of WW for 16 weeks and lost 16 pounds. But yah know what - that's pretty much all the weight I lost for the whole year!!! Obviously food tracking is majorly important to my weightloss goals. But I hate tracking. It's too much work. Blah!

So - what are my weight loss goals? I'm not really sure. All I know is I want to lose weight. and I want to be successful. I'm working with my husband in picking a half marathon towards the end of the year. So it's my goal to train for a half marathon. And along the way - I know I'll lose weight. Right?

I got a new digital scale for Christmas. So tomorrow, I'll read the direction book for it(because it tells you more things like body fat and stuff like that.) So tomorrow I will weigh in for the first time in a long time. I think I will make Friday's my WI day though. And I will make small goals to reach after that. I just can't look at the big picture of a year and say I want to loose 60 pounds in 12 months. That's too big for me.

Spiritually:
I'm a born again Christian. I won't go into the details, but I've definitely let things fall out of perspective. So My goal is to make my relationship with God a priority. That starts with reading my bible and praying more regularly. And actually studying what I'm reading and learning about at church. This is seems do-able and something I've been working on anyways. I just need to be more intentional about it. And so I will.

Organization:
I am so disorganized. I think part of it(excuses.... ) is that my thyroid is out of wack, and so mentally I'm not as sharp. I'm naturally not an organized person anyways - but forgetting everything doesn't help either.
I have several areas I need to organize in my life. The first is my business. If you didn't know, I'm an independent consultant for BeautiControl. I love it! I do in-home spa parties... but the paperwork is way behind. I need to get my taxes in order ASAP so I don't fall behind on next year as well. And I need to keep my desk cleaned off. That would be awesome.
Which leads me to the next thing. I want to declutter the house. I know I shouldn't "compete with the Jones'" BUT - it seems like our house is a lot more "lived in" than most of our friends. And some of the "stuff" we have is stuff we acquired in college or early marriage. We don't care about it. It's just junk really. We've already started this - but there's definitely some more areas that need work.

That's all I can think of right now. I have some current priotities in my life that I want to continue like Clean healthy living of "real food." I got a breadmaker to help me in this process! Keeping family and health high on the priority list.

Eye Opener

Ugh... I had an eye opener today, and it wasn't pretty. I went to they gym today to work out, despite the kids program at school and my mom ditching me for work and my husband ditching me for christmas shopping. I can't be totally mad, he was shopping for me!

Anyways - I was kind of looking forward to exercising alone and really getting to listen to my music. I did fairly well - but I relaized (at just the right time) that usually theres a class at noon. So I looked to check it out and it was Zumba basics. I wanted a "good" workout, so I passed on it. Well, after 15-20 minutes of running, I decided zumba would be more fun. So I joined the class late. Then I got buzzed 5 minutes into it. But 5 minutes was long enough for me to look in the mirror. And it wasn't pretty. I knew my shirt was tighter, but I thought that was because I naturally shrink things. Maybe I don't. Maybe I'm just getting bigger. Sigh...

I really need to lay off the cookies.

Running

So today was actually a pretty big day for me! As you might have read - I did alot of exercise today for the first time in a few weeks. I did 25 min on the cross trainer(the hard one!) and ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. (about 2 miles)

This afternoon I was back at the gym because my boy had a sports class. So I went to the running track that circles the gym. I was planning on walking so I wouldn't need a second shower for the day. But I saw the sign... 20 laps = 1 mile.

Hmm...

So I decided to run a mile. But I would break it up into segments. 5 laps at a time. This is big for me because I've never run off of a treadmill. I've been afraid of the 5K because I've not run outside ever. (Well, I guess I did for a stint in high school... but that was a long time ago and 50 pounds lighter.)

Anyways - it was hard!!! Harder than I hoped it would be. But I was able to push through it. But I didn't like it. I was proud I finished. But I sure was huffing and puffing!!

Part of me dreams to run the bigger races. Of course start with a few 5Ks... but I think I'd like to sign up for the half marathon at Disney. We're going to Disney next fall... and I know they have races once or twice a year. I'm afraid of a Marathon... and especially after today - WOW! I can't imagine ever running 26 miles strait!!!

But I think I have a goal for myself. I need to share it with Mike... and make it real. I wish I had a partner in this. I think that would be a TON more fun. But as I was running - well, honestly it was as I was catching my breath!! - I was imagining and thinking of how I could train. How I'd have to make running outside a priority in the summer - maybe in the evening when Mike was home..


I want to be a runner.

Peer Pressure?

So I mentioned in my last post that my husband Mike was making some comments about my weight. Sounds horrible, doesn't it?

Well, it's not really.

And fortunately he's in no place to judge my eating and exercise habits. His work schedule is a bit different right now so he hasn't been able to get to the gym at lunchtime and his lunches are provided. And it's usually crap. Plus they get snacks throughout the day. All crap. And he feels gross and fat. But he doesn't have alot of control over his time. I think he's going to pack a bit more this week.

I don't particularly like when he comments about my eating habits. And he's not saying anything horrible or mean. Just calling me out on a few things I rather left hidden. Like all the fast food I keep getting at lunchtime. He works it into the conversation ever so slyly. But to me, it's a big sign. And I don't like being called out on my negative habits. But there's not much I can say or do, except change.

And like I said - he's not very judgemental. But I think it's helped me. These little things aren't going unnoticed. Obviously my body isn't forgetting about the hamburgers and the onion rings and the pop. I need to start taking better care of myself. And as much as I would like to wait till after the New Year, I don't think I can. Like I mentioned in my last post - these red flags are not something I want to get used to. I don't like being so full I can't get a good breath in. That's just not right and not somewhere I want to be.

So as much as I'd like to pretend the pop I'm drinking isn't *that bad*. . . umm, it kind of is. And all the cookies and crap I've been eating is really pretty gross. It's like I'm trying to gain weight. And it has to stop. Today.

A New Beginning

Hmm... I wonder how many of my post titles refer to starting again?

So, I haven't posted for a few weeks. Because I've fallen off the bandwagon. There's no real excuses. Just yet another excuse. I've eaten to my heart's content. I've splurged - I've eaten just because I could. I've eaten out of stress, that's for sure!!! I think I've been eating out of depression too.

I'm just not quite right lately. But I can't put my finger on it.

But oddly enough - I keep reading several weightloss blogs I enjoy. And alot of people are doing great - especially with the new WW program they just came out with. They're building momentum they wouldn't normally have at this time of year. And that excitement was almost very contagious.

I want to want to lose weight, but for some reason -I can barely make myself meet my mother at the gym. I've even skipped and made excuses when possible. I just am dragging lately. Cooking has just become this monumental task I just can't even broach anymore. I used to be very creative (at least once or twice a week) with meals. And with not going to the gym, I'm home more during the days - but I can't bring myself to accomplish anything. It's all just too much for me right now.

But the title here is A New Beginning. And I think it is. This past week, I've just exceeded my standards of *fatness*. I'm not sure what that means - but I've crossed a line somewhere - and I'm not willing to go down that road. I've gained a good 5 pounds over my high end of fluctuation. So these are my red flags I'm not willing to let take me over:
**In danger of my clothes not fitting.
**Trouble breathing when slouched certain ways and after eating too much.
**Bending and reaching is harder(out of breath, can't reach past the fatness.)
**Husband is starting to notice and comment about it. (more on that later!)

I keep reading these blogs and it's motivating, but I just didn't have it in me to change anything. But for some reason, last night - something did change. And I'm ready to start exercising again. Diet ~ well, I'll try to get better, but I'm not ready to go into full diet mode.

So today - I went full steam! I did 25 minutes on the hard cross trainers(not sure what they're technically called) and then I ran for 30 minutes. I took my son to the gym n the afternoon for his sports class, and that leaves me 45 minutes of extra exercise time. I meant to just walk - but I ended up running a mile. My eating wasn't great today - but I definitely stepped it up in the exercise department, which is sort of my MO. I'll take it!

I think my goal right now is to just loose these 5 pounds by New Years. Since I just put them off, I'm hoping they'll come off quickly too. Hopefully!