2nd Stab at Running

MUCH BETTER!!!

I got up at 4:30 this morning, mostly because the babe was having a nightmare and was kicking his crib. So at 5 I got ready and headed out the door. I warmed up around the block then stopped back in the house to use the restroom. Didn't have to go.

So off I went, and quickly discovered my MP3 was dead. Bummer. But I just kept going. I'm not quite sure how long I went. I had to change my path because it was darker than I anticipated. I'll have to track it later in the car. But over all I ran about 22 minutes and walked another 10+ with warm up and cool down. I know I could have gone longer - but music would have helped keep the motivation alive.

I think this was a total breakthrough for me. It's not a matter of if I can or can't run a 5K, it's just a mental battle of will. I suppose I could have run for a full half hour(which was kind of an original hope for this morning) but the path I was taking was coming to an end, so I allowed myself to be done mentally at that point and it was hard for me to keep going after that.

Now I still have a long way to go. I was able to run- but it is labored. Fortunately I was reading some important tips for new runners last night, and it mentioned this. IT said that when you start running your level of fitness will go down. It went on to explain that your body needs to adapt to this new style of exercise and it can take a couple weeks. So I'm looking forward to increasing my stamina and having a morning jog be alot easier. It's nice to have my exercise out of the way for the day too.

First Stab at Running

I have been dreaming about the day when the weather would warm and I could go down to the park and run. I've run on the treadmill and a bit on a track, but never on pavement with beautiful surroundings.

So today was the day. Promise of 75 degrees and sunshine. Delivered! So Mike and I found a sitter and headed out. We had a good start - it was indeed annoyingly hard and tiresome, but did get easy after the first 5 minutes(warm up). But it was shortly after that when I realized that all this rough pavement was a little too rough on my bladder - and there wasn't much I could do about it. So rather than have an embarrassing moment - we headed back, and just in time.

I'm not sure what to do about this problem. I've had surgery before on my kidney due to a massive stone.. and afterwards walked around with a stint in for the next month. Ever since that 'stretch out' I've never been able to hold my liquids quite the same. But usually it's a non-issue. I just avoid the trampoline and running 6 miles an hour.

But now I'm not so sure.

We ended up running just short of a mile - and I stopped/walked more than I would have liked. I'm hoping to head out in the morning. There's a loop in the neighborhood that I think will work for me. I live in a hilly neighborhood, so I'm hoping to avoid most of the hills and have more of a strait run. We'll see. I think I'll have to start around 5:30 too.. I don't voluntarily get up that early.

Wish me luck!!! I really want to achieve this goal!!!

A Real Goal

Another annoyance to the regular (weight loss) bloggers out there are those who keep setting goals without actually following through or accomplishing anything.

Um, I probably fall into this category more than I care to admit.. so I'm going to ignore all the stares and just share this new goal. This REAL goal.

So, my husband went out this morning fro a trail run. He's training for some crazy marathon of a trail run in October. I was glad for him to go because all his running is on a treadmill, and I think that's cheating. (It's good for - but it's just not the same as on a track or outside.)

Anyways - it made me realize (or remember) that I'm supporting a charity walk on May 13th. There is a 5k run you can sign up for. I had always thought I would run it, but I've kind of let running fall to the wayside. I'm just not in love with it and running off a treadmill is incredibly harder for me. I think most of it is mental, but I haven't figured out how to fix that just yet.

But I realized it's only 5 weeks away - and if I want to train, that's exactly enough time. I believe the C25K is 6 weeks? Well, I'm definitely capable of being on at least week 2, so I'm not worried about that. So I think we're going to sign up for the run. We're going to run the 5K!!! I've never actually fun that far before. I usually just jump on the treadmill and run for 30 minutes... and even then I get bored and I have to keep myself from quitting. I'm sure I could do it on the treadmill, but that's the same as getting outside - with no TV and no one setting the pace for you.

But tomorrow - it's going to be beautiful. Well - warm. There's no guarantee about sunny. I think it's supposed to rain, but here in Erie, PA - that could mean anything. (even snow... but with the temps there predicting, probably not snow!)So my plan is to get to the peninsula and run. I'm hoping I'll be pleasantly surprised with myself and if I just block out the time, I'll run for a few miles.

Recaping My Week

First of all, I want to apologize for not being a more regular blogger. I follow alot of blogs, and I think I'm realizing that there are two types of blogging.. well, probably more, but I've discovered a distinction in the ones I follow.

First of all, some are very informational. And I like that. It's about food or exercise or being frugal... some great stuff. I am not that type of blogger. I think it takes someone with a bit more knowledge or research and you have to feel confident and "own" the information your talking about. I fell like I'm figuring things out and picking up all sorts of information from these blogs. Sometimes I share it here or my other blog - but it's not originally from me and I don't feel qualified to state it as such.

The other type of blogger is sharing through experiences. Very much true in the world of weight loss blogs. This is good too, but it helps witha weight loss blog to have some weight loss!!! And here I am struggling.

So, because of my struggles I don't always blog. I know some people who blog regularly think that when the negatives aren't shared - we're "hiding" that information. I don't really care what people think. At this point, this blog is for me to air out, think through, and possible look for support in this weight loss journey. I'm not focusing on inspiring people and showing them 'the way'. I suppose I'm a little depressed and I just don't feel like writing. It's not intentional.

Anyways - here's the recap on my week. I got a 24 stomach bug Monday night. Totally upset things for a few days. I actually bounced back pretty quick, but I did miss a workout and have been eating more comfort food for the unsettled stomach. My stomach feels fine, till I think of mexican(the dreaded last supper) or my son who threw up last night. Awesome.

I was worried about what this would do to the scale. It was nice to see it move down to a new record low, but we all know you put it back on once your start eating and drinking again. But I weighed myself this morning and I'm at 205.1 lbs. I'm pretty happy with that. So it's back to the grind again!

My Worst Nightmare Has Come True!!!!!!!

UGH!!!

So, I recall the summer after baby being born.. the first warm day of spring... I rushed upstairs to find some capri pants and enjoy it outside with the little one. Only to find that NOTHING fit. I think I ended up in some sweat shorts which I wore during pregnancy. Extremely disappointing and depressing.

So here it is, on the cusp of our warm day(it's 55ish - tomorrow to be in the 70's!) and after my morning workout and shower I pull out all the capri pants that I've had sitting aside. I try on the first and most promising pair - the one's I bought at the end of last summer. Surely these will fit and I won't have to have an emotional struggle. Well, the buttoned with not too much problem - but it was a horrible "muffin" experience. So then I started really looking at all the pants. I noticed several were shorts - so I by passed those. It seemed all the pants were size 14. But so were the first pair. So I carefully picked out a few I thought looked bigger or stretchier. I was highly disappointed in the results. Most I didn't even pull up all the way because they probably wouldn't go. I did find one pair on the bottom that was much stretchier and fit with no squeeze or muffin experience.

Whew!

Thankfully, one pair is all I need to hold onto my dignity. I am highly disappointed in myself that after ALL THIS TIME I have made little to no real progress. That's' ridiculous!

But I am pretty excited, I have a goal. I'll put that in the next post, this is getting a bit long.

The Plan

I really need to buckle down and get serious about all this!! I'm so frustrated that I'm not making any progress! I really need to start seeing some weight loss! Although I think I'm slimming down a bit - toning - I still want to see the scale move and start fitting into smaller sizes.

I was highly depressed the other day when my mom and I walked at the mall. There were all the new spring and summer fashions everywhere - as to be expected. And I'm not ready for that yet! I suppose many of you are starting to see signs of spring outside your window... but it just snowed here yesterday and today we were trilled for 40 degrees and no chance of more snow! We've barely touched 50 a few weeks ago and it seems like it will never come again. (Although supposedly Monday should be warm!)

Anyways - there's nothing more depressing than the first spring (warm!) day to come and you go scurrying upstairs to put on a pair of shorts or Capri's and nothing fits. I mean NOTHIN! I've had this happen - and was quite depressed. Of course, this was after having a baby... so my body wasn't near normal by any means. But I don't want that to happen again. You're supposed to use these long winter months to get back in shape and lose weight while you're stuck inside. And I seem to have failed at it. Royally.

Sigh... so what am I going to do differently?

1. Not eating at night was a big help. So I will continue to do that.
2. I will only eat 1600 calories a day. It's only 1600 cals... shouldn't be too much effort to count that, right?
3. Exercise 4 days a week. this shouldn't be hard most weeks, but occasionally it is and that's when I need to make this a priority.
4. Allow 3 binge days a month. And by binge - I don't mean thousands of calories... just an allowance to eat whatever I want at a restaurant or special occasion. So this could be 1 weekend day each week.. but not quite. I'm hoping this will allow me some wiggle room but not so much that I derail myself.

March Recap

I do not know what I weigh for the end of March. I do not want to know.

I'm highly frustrated and disappointed in myself this week. I was doing really well and was even at a new low as of Monday or Tuesday - 204.2lbs.

But then something happened. I'm not really sure, if was either very hormonal or I stopped taking my meds(which I have none) because I was extremely moody and tired and stressed out. And my eating suffered greatly. Plus I didn't workout when I could have. I stayed caught up on the home front with laundry and whatnot.. but I just craved salty fatty foods.

It's so annoying how you can work and try so hard to do good for days and days to start losing weight... and it creeps off.. and then ~BAM! One day of unhealthy eating and you're up two pounds. Then another day and another 1.5 lbs.. WTF. I know alot of it is sodium and water weight - which is why I don't know what I really weigh. I'll weight myself Monday and go from there.

I started weighing in on Mondays due to a challenge I started to participate in. I was eliminated quite quickly so I didn't post anything about it here. But for some reason the WI day kinda stuck. I think it is encouraging to me to stay focused on the weekends - and anything that will help with that is good!

So, I took 3 days off this week but I'm back on track again. Although we just went out to eat at Chick-Fil-A and I didn't exactly make healthy choices. But I'm going to accept it, count it and move forward. I decided 1600 calories is a good number for me to start losing weight. So that's what I'm going to do. Unfortunately I'm at 1558 calories for the day!!! So it looks like salad and maybe fruit for tonight. Stupid Chick-fil-a Sauce!!!

I did work out a fair amount today: about 45 minutes of cardio at the gym and then when I got home I did Hip Hop Abs for 20ish minutes. I didn't feel it in my abs, but my legs sure did get a good workout!