So last night, if I had not been so tired I would have written this mostly as an encouragement to myself.
From my last couple posts, you know I've not been doing so well. Which is disappointing because I was at a recent low of 204.4 lbs. And last night - I wanted something sweet. And I did have something. Right after the kids went to bed, I had some leftover pancakes. I have finally figured out the calories and know that each pancake with the amount of maple syrup I use is about 100 calories each. So I had 4 pancakes. all this while watching Biggest Loser. Don't judge me - we've all been on the couch with our ice cream watching that show...
So after that I got my step out, and did a little bit of that. I got my weights out of the basement so I could do this new arms routine for "Sexy Arms" and did some abs as well.
Then the ice cream was calling me.
I knew I didn't need it. I just wanted more sweets. It was getting late - and I looked for something on TV so I could justify sitting up late and eating a bowl. I don't know if my craving wasn't terribly strong but I just realized that I don't need to give into every craving I have. (Obvious truths here!) And I was annoyed with myself that I let myself be ruled by my cravings. So I just pushed it aside and went to bed.
And I'm so glad I did! I woke up this morning and decided to do a weight evaluation - see how things were going. I was 205 lbs exactly! Now, not as low as 204.4 lbs but I've been 206-ish all weekend. It's amazing how cutting out the late eating can start to change things for you. I've seen this happen before, but late night eating is possibly my worst habit.
It was so encouraging to me to see this lower number on the scale! I thought I had just ruined and thrown away my last week. I was feeling that this journey was deemed to be hopeless, will I always be this weight now? Do I not have enough strength and determination to get beyond this? I can't exercise anymore than I am! But it's not hopeless. I'm still making progress. I can make mistakes and keep moving forward. My goal is not lost.