Why do I do the things I don't want to do?

This week has been extra busy. Busy as in ~ moving from one activity to the next ~ ALL DAY ~ kind of busy. Nap schedules have suffered... cleaning, well, it hasn't suffered because we've had company! I am impressed with how well I've handles all this activity. Because normally I stress out about it and start snapping at everyone. Now, I did have my moments, but they were relatively mild in past comparisons.

Although when you relate this to my eating and exercise habits, then they suffered. It started last week when I was *spring cleaning* the house for Paige's birthday sleepover. I skipped two PRIME workouts because I knew I wouldn't have enough time to get everything done. And then I ate ALOT of cake. Over the course of several days - I probably ate a third of the cake... well, maybe a quarter. sigh. It was good, that's all I can say. Actually, I kind of forgot about it - glad I haven't gotten on the scale!!!

Hmm, where is this post going?!? Don't sound very motivating or encouraging.

Well, here it is. I REALLY want to slim down. I feel like I'm on the verge of slimming down. If I just cut back on my portions and skipped the bedtime snacks I'd be in a much better place!!! Why am I not doing that? That's not horribly hard. I'm not asking for hard core here(because we all know I wouldn't do it....)

Here's what I'm thinking:

Reason #1: I'm focused on eating whole foods and making clean meals. Takes alot of work and energy to cook and be creative in this department. Especially when the fridge is pretty empty.

Reason #2: I just forget!!! I do! I'm not sure if it's habit, or I'm loosing my mind, or distracted from the activities of life - but I just forget that I wanted to watch my portions!!!

Reason #3: I'm stressed out and I'm eating emotionally. I just don't care sometimes. I need a sweet treat. I want a nacho cheese beef chalupa from taco bell!! It's just GOOD. It eases my stress(not really) but I think it does.

Reason #4: The goal seems so far away and out of reach. And it's easy to loose sight of the goal.

So now what. I can't just leave things this way - I'll definitely gain 10 pounds by the end of the year if I don't change things!!!

So I go back to the basics. I need motivation(that's been lacking for me). Tonight I was at the mall - and I've not shopped in a real store for quite some time! And the clothes were beautiful!!!! I was even admiring some dresses!!! I so want to go clothes shopping! But I don't want to buy BIG clothes. It kind defeats the purpose when you're not happy with your body. It's just not fun.

Oooh! I have a great idea!! A new goal!! (I know - I have a new one all the time....) But I bet my husband will be behind me on this one (you'll be jealous! ~ but my husband is great!) Maybe a mini clothes shopping spree on my birthday - if I loose a few dress sizes! Although - I'm not sure if that's really possible, that'd be like 30 pounds. My birthday is January 6th. Right after the holidays. BUT, I am feeling motivated - and I've not had an evening snack (aka finished the subway cookies leftover from dinner....). Maybe I can change. Maybe I do want this goal enough to change what I'm doing.

Tomorrow I'm going to the gym, early with the kids. Because we have to be somewhere at 10. I start tomorrow!