What a day!!!

So - I think I have two posts, really - we'll start at the beginning though.

So, this mornign we headed to the gym, I was late for various reasons - one being I forgot the proper shoes!!! but I got there - missed my favorite class - but that's okay. So I did the cross trainer(elliptical) for 30 minutes - that was good! It's been a long time! then I focused on abs, because what I really want is to flatten my stomach so my shirts will lay better and of course, pants fit better. After that I thought - yah know... maybe I'll try running. I had wanted to run with my friend this morning, but she couldn't make it. She's training to run a 5K, and I knew what she was doing, so I thought I'd try. And I did. I ran 5 minutes with a 1 minute walkign break - for half an hour. I did great! especially in the first half - 5 minutes flew by!!! I ran at 4.5mph - except the last 5 minutes, I did at 5mph. Whoo Hoo!!! The calorie counter says I burned 720 Calories, that seems a bit high, but possible. I already have plans to go to the gym tomorrow - so I'm excited to do more! What I need to do is get a plan for training to run a 5K...

The other half of my post - so when I got home and showered, I thought I'd look around my closet and see what I could fine. I've already tried on some flattering shirts that fit pretty good from before Ryan... but I need some flattering shorts/capris. Well, I found a pair of old shorts - the pair that was always big and losse - and have been around long enough that there's history there - and I still remember them! They fit - nto too bad, although should be a bit looser to keep from having any muffin top. I found another pair of shorts with them - not sure when I got these, but I couldn't button them. And I angles the mirror on the closet door and sat at my vanity - it's been a long time since I've worn shorts - specially shorter shorts! and I just need to knw what I look like. Well, I still look fat. I am fat. My mental image is a bit better than my actual image. And I think I'm getting closer to those two being the same thing. In pictures from the past year - I'm just shocked at how big I am!!! I look horrible. But then, when you're infront of a mirror, you know how to position yourself to look a bit better - those camaras catch you by surprise at ungaurded moments.

So, with this revelation - it was kind of depressing, but I kind of expected it, so it's not going to slow me down. I was hoping for a miracle transformation, that all those little differences I'm noticing are actually big differences - but they're not. I'm making progress, but I've lost 12 pounds, not 50. but I wonder where this leaves me? I still want to loose at least 5 more pounds(but really want 10) before our vacation... maybe I'll be able to button those shorts... but what about on vacation - I don't think I'm going to be very diciplined. And what about the rest of summer... I know and almost plan on slowing down over summer - but it's during summer what I want to look awesome. I guess I was hoping to be close to my goal by now. But there's no point in being depressed and eating a cookie... that's not going to help. I just need to focus on watching my points and getting in exercise.

I also need a plan for vacation. and for summer. I am so not looking forward to having Paige out of school for the summer... I can't stand all the fighting and whinning... but today - we'll just worry about today. My plan today is not to screw up the progress I'm making. Starting with this weekend. At the WW meeting this week the leader had a very good point. If we relax and don't track over the weekend - that's a third of the year!!!! How much more progress could we make if we didn't slack on the third of the wear! There's always a weekend or a holiday or a birthday or a picnic... let's make healthy choices!