Thursday, February 24, 2011
I don't understand myself....
So I was doing great for most of the week. The weekend was pretty good and then Monday and Tuesday were great as well. Then Wednesday... well - I just stopped trying. I just was hungry and overloaded with stuff to get done. I wanted sugar.
Today, I started out okay - I had a Mops meeting to go to - which always has a bunch of great food. I was only going to get "healthy stuff" with one dessert and 1 casserole... just small bits of the good stuff. Well, there was almost no fruits and veggies or yogurt or anything really healthy. So I ate little bits of all the junk. Including lots of sweets. I had to run an errand before home... and decided I didn't want anything I had at home... so I stopped for some tacos. I tried to make a better choice... but it's still Taco Bell. Now all I want is brownies... maybe because I have a mix in the cubbord and that's the only sweet thing in the house. I finished off the Girl Scout cookies... don't worry - it was only 3 thin mints.
But I'm just so mad. I weighed myself this morning and it was up - just from a not so good day yesterday. And today I just don't want to get back on track. I want to reach my goals and lose weight - but sometimes you just want a break and enjoy something good!
I'm so conflicted. I have this wholesome healthy organic lifestyle I'm trying to lead my family toward ~ and that's fine 80% of the time... but the rest of the time I just want to chuck it all out the window. I want the fast food - but at the same time, that's exactly what I don't want. And I can't seem to control myself the other 20% of the time... It's all or nothing it seems. I'm either eating the healthy way or the old way. My choices are either good or bad. I think I need a "good" way to eat sweets. And as the lady at WW said "I'm a volume eater." She was talking about herself, but I am too. I am not satisfied with one bite. I need the full experience/serving to feel satisfied.
It's so frustrating - I want to reach my gaols - but the hard work really sucks in the mean time. I need to get to the gym. Maybe I'll take the kids with me tonight. I think a good sweat would kick my cravings a bit. Tomorrow is my WI and I don't want to totally blow it. But seriously ~ brownies are calling MY name.