Turned Around

Ahhh... I'm so much happier about today.

I did go to Zumba - although my workout was cut in half. The childcare was closing 30 minutes earlier than normal, plus I was 10-15 min late by the time I got to class. ((coughkidscough))

But I did highly enjoy my workout. I must confess I had some Dr. Pepper to give me a little caffeine boost. Either way - the movement and fun upbeat music did really seem to change my day. I'm so glad exercise has this effect on me! I then went to the grocery store and bought the remaining healthy ingredients I needed to make meals and make good choices this week. Plus 1 frozen pizza for lazy emergencies!

I've tracked my day today and am going to stay on track. I'm making kind of a rich dinner - so I might just have a small helping with a large salad - to make the calorie cut for the day.

I didn't do very well this weekend, although it could have been worse. I'm disappointed in myself. I want to see results so much, yet I keep falling into bad overeating habits. I won't reach my goals if I allow myself to do that!

Thanks for listening!

StReSsEd OUT!

I've just had a very stressful morning. Nothing huge in the scheme of things, but I must have been too tired to handle it all. Essentially my daughter missed the bus- or chose not to get on it - because of a stuffed animal. What do you do when your first grader is crying and melting down and won't get on the bus? I'm not really sure what the right answer is... I tried a variety of things. Kindness and love - didn't cut the tears. Threat of punishment - no dice. Anger... well, that never works for anyone. Phone call to daddy... not so much. I knew when I had everyone in the car and she wouldn't let up despite the hugs and stuffed animal, that once we got to school we'd be playing out the same scene. I was just beside myself. So, as to daddy's suggestion - she stayed home but is going to spend most of the day in her room. She can color and read and play with toys - but no electronics. After some cuddle time on the couch.

So - most of this happened before I had breakfast. I had a granola bar(not on my normal menu) when I thought I was still driving her to school. All I want to do is eat to calm myself down. I did make my normal egg breakfast - which usually keeps me on a healthy track for the day.

But I still feel stressed. I want to eat well today -but not really. I want to relieve this stress. And I usually do that with cookies. I feel like they're calling to me today. I have a melon I bought for snacking on... but I just don't have the energy or desire to cut it up. I'm feeling particularly lazy yesterday and today. My plan was to go to Zumba today, but I don't want to. I probably will though, since it will make life easier at home for the kids and me. It's always better when the day is broken up and we get out of the house. I'm not throwing in the towel yet. I need to refocus on my goals and plan out my menu for the day. I need some energy!

Last night Re-cap and Weigh In Day

Well - I managed to hold myself together last night. I never looked at the box of brownies. We had a good dinner - although I could have cared less at that point. We had Yellow Fin Tuna and asparagus. I also made cauliflower but it took to long and no one ate it. I then decided to get to the gym. I knew if I didn't I would end up eating anything in the house and be miserable and frustrated with the kids. There was a step class, which ended up being too easy and low impact for me. I figured this was a "fat burning" workout - since it was a lower intensity. It also fit my mood, I didn't want to do too much but it was nice to be in a class so I wouldn't quit early. I followed the night with a bowl of cereal and three oreos.

So - WI this morning. I was a bit nervous. And apparently it matters a great deal where my scale is. I have a tile floor - and so all the tiles aren't perfectly level. So when I finally got it right, my weight was 205.7 lbs. I was pretty pleased with this! I lost 1 pound this week! Of course, I would have liked more, but considering I was falling off track the past couple days I'm still glad to have a loss. I'll feel better when I lose weight consistantly. Otherwise I know this pound could just come right back on.

I'm also glad I had a loss because mentally I don't think I could keep this up if I wasn't starting to see results.

I don't understand myself....

So I was doing great for most of the week. The weekend was pretty good and then Monday and Tuesday were great as well. Then Wednesday... well - I just stopped trying. I just was hungry and overloaded with stuff to get done. I wanted sugar.

Today, I started out okay - I had a Mops meeting to go to - which always has a bunch of great food. I was only going to get "healthy stuff" with one dessert and 1 casserole... just small bits of the good stuff. Well, there was almost no fruits and veggies or yogurt or anything really healthy. So I ate little bits of all the junk. Including lots of sweets. I had to run an errand before home... and decided I didn't want anything I had at home... so I stopped for some tacos. I tried to make a better choice... but it's still Taco Bell. Now all I want is brownies... maybe because I have a mix in the cubbord and that's the only sweet thing in the house. I finished off the Girl Scout cookies... don't worry - it was only 3 thin mints.

But I'm just so mad. I weighed myself this morning and it was up - just from a not so good day yesterday. And today I just don't want to get back on track. I want to reach my goals and lose weight - but sometimes you just want a break and enjoy something good!

I'm so conflicted. I have this wholesome healthy organic lifestyle I'm trying to lead my family toward ~ and that's fine 80% of the time... but the rest of the time I just want to chuck it all out the window. I want the fast food - but at the same time, that's exactly what I don't want. And I can't seem to control myself the other 20% of the time... It's all or nothing it seems. I'm either eating the healthy way or the old way. My choices are either good or bad. I think I need a "good" way to eat sweets. And as the lady at WW said "I'm a volume eater." She was talking about herself, but I am too. I am not satisfied with one bite. I need the full experience/serving to feel satisfied.

It's so frustrating - I want to reach my gaols - but the hard work really sucks in the mean time. I need to get to the gym. Maybe I'll take the kids with me tonight. I think a good sweat would kick my cravings a bit. Tomorrow is my WI and I don't want to totally blow it. But seriously ~ brownies are calling MY name.

It's the little things...

So - I'm very much looking forward to this week's WI. It's pretty much the first week I've been serious about my diet and exercise. Not that I haven't been trying... but I haven't been tracking or changing my workout much- or at least not enough.

What I've changed is the little things... and I'm hoping they add up. Normally these little things don't even to seem worth the effort - but of course, I'm hoping they are! My workouts, for example. If I couldn't get the highest calorie burn, it wasn't worth my time. Then I realized that my motivation was lacking - and starting Zumba again was better than skipping my workout all together. Other things I've done is added some light exercise to my evening routine. I was doing Wii fit, but now that's evolved into dragging my step upstairs and doing that for a half hour each night. I'm even doing lunges and squats off of it. I've also added some Pilate's into the routine. After I get home from the gym - when the babe is asleep I'll do a Pilate's bun/thighs video. I might even try it during my evening tv time - I'll just set up our portable dvd player and put it on mute.

Diet wise - I'm tracking alot better. I'm figuring out the correct portion size of things I thought I was able to judge on my own. Like oil in my morning eggs & spinach. Today - I also improved my McD's visit even more! I normally will get a Caesar salad w/ grilled chicken and use balsamic vinaigrette. It's pretty good and not too shabby on calories. Well - today I got two side salads and brought my own mixture of nuts/seeds and dried cranberries. The side salads are only 20 calories on their own - I didn't even use a whole packet of dressing. I didn't miss the processed chicken or the shredded cheese covered in powder preservatives. yuck!

So I'm hoping all these small changes will keep adding up. I have my goals in the forefront of my mind. Seems everything I do makes me think of Disney - how we can save money to go, or like to today at McD's - how we'll be stopping at a few of these on our drive down to Disney...

Just have to say...

I am SOOOO in the groove! I could have done better this weekend, but really - I think I did pretty good for me! We ate out several times, but I made healthier choices. Sure - I could have made even better choices, but let's be real - I'm eating out for a reason!!!

I have weighed myself everyday, and I was thrilled to see neither day did I go up in weight. Today, I made some great choices. I skipped the muffin at church, I had salad and roasted turkey and grilled veggies for lunch, then salad with a small portion of spaghetti for dinner. I've only had 2 Girl Scout cookies - and then cereal for my evening snack. This is a great day for me! Plus I did some step while watching a movie this evening.

I'm going to rock this week's weigh in... I got this!!

Meal Planning

Meal planning is probably the easiest way to make a diet work. It's easy to sabotage any diet, but meal planning is probably the best way to set yourself up for success!

So today I went to the grocery store with my husband in tow. I must say - I have a great husband. He's very open to eating healthy foods and eating less meat. He's also very open and aware that I need to be supported in this weight loss venture. We had lunch at the grocery store - they have quite the spread of foods available. He wanted Chinese - but asked me first if that would dissuade me from getting the salad I already planned to get. I told him I'd be fine. Today, anyways.

So we went shopping. It was our splurge week - to stock up on items. I don't know that I stocked up on anything, but I bought just about any item I thought I might need for meals this week. It's hard to stock up on fruits and veggies.

So the meals for this week also include a change in lunch plans for my husband and daughter. They will be eating turkey wraps instead of sandwiches. I bought extra salad fixings for me. I also plan on making White Chicken Chili. I'm not sure if we'll have this for a meal, because I like to freeze the leftovers in individual portions for lunches. I'd like a fair amount of lunches!

I'm actually not clear on the dinners. We bought wild caught tuna - and then I have plenty of chicken. I have asparagus I can roast and I made riced cauliflower to make a stir fry.

It's interesting because we used to plan our meals around meat. Now they're planned around veggies. If I could just get my snackign under control - then I'd really start dropping pounds!

My Goals

Okay. It looks like I won't attain my goal of losing 5 pounds in February. I figure my starting weight was 206.3, so I wanted to be at 201.3. Considering I'd need to lose 5.6 pounds in one week - probably not going to happen.

But I still want to attain my goal of losing 5 pounds per month until our Disney trip. Not to mention summer is coming before then! I certainly would like to lose a little weight before then.

So my plan is to keep with the goals, and for March, I will try to lose the 10 pounds. I have almost 6 weeks exactly to reach that goal, and I think that is definitely possible and still very safe. So that would put me at 196.3. I think - if I reach that goal - I will give myself a little reward. Maybe a mani or pedi. I think if I reach a nice round number like 195 I'll go for both!

So this tells me I need to get serious and not putting off things until tomorrow. I keep thinking I can wait until tomorrow to really restrict my diet, but the truth is, I need to do it now. I'm making some healthy choices - but there's usually some point in my day when I just don't care anymore and I give in. I can't allow myself to do that anymore.

So I need to figure out a plan for today. Because right now I'm not thinking healthy thoughts for lunch, because I don't feel like I have many healthy options. And tonight we're probably going to go out to eat. I'm thinking mexican... Probably not the best idea - although I think I could make some healthy choices. Maybe I eat a sensible lunch(which I really am resisting) but then have the mexican dinner. I'm thinking fajitas. I can control that. And I don't care much for chips- so I can avoid that.

And I think I can fit in a video during naps- just not as extensive as I would like. I already showered and don't want to shower again. Okay - enough from me. Do you have a plan for your troublesome weekends?

Weigh In

Recap on the week:

Started a new habit of doing some Wii Fit every night.
Ate a reduced calories healthy egg breakfast every morning.
Eating more fruits and veggies.
Tried a new recipe this week and cooked a veggie a new way, which I liked alot.
Tracked my food 3 times this week.
Only did 1 workout video at home, wanted to do at least 1 more.
Went to the gym only once this week.
Youngest got the flu - which really hampered the extra gym/video time.
TOM- so having a hard time curbing cravings and keeping eating under control.
Did portion out bad cravings mentioned above.

WI: 206.9lbs. Up .3 lbs.

Not too bad. Certainly could have been better in the exercise department, and usually is. Eating could have been a bit better, but overall I'm handling TOM very well and not getting totally derailed.

Floundering

I don't know what is going on. I am tracking my food. I am working out more. I have had a few treats over Valentines day - but I've tracked all of it. (Which is just AMAZING for me.) I've started doing Wii Fit at night - even if it's just the step during our tv shows. I figure it's keeping me from snacking plus I'm moving more. But the scale doesn't seem to be budging. Apparently I just gorged over the weekend and my body won't give it up!

I don't plan on changing or giving up. I know if I'm diligent - the scale will move. Weigh-in day isn't until Friday - and it's TOM time. I just really want to hit my goal of 5 pounds this month. I'm nowhere near it and I don't have much time left, but I thought I'd drop a few pounds!

Calories at a glance:
Breakfast(spinach and eggs) 200 calories
Brunch with friends: 400 calories(I'm just guessing. I had a slice of friendship bread and a scoop of my apple crisp plus a small section of brownie..)

I think for lunch, I'll just eat an apple and I plan on getting a workout video in. I did my Turbo Jam video for the first time in a while on Monday. It was alot harder than it used to be! I wanted to quit many times, but I just rested for a second and then got back to it! I want to incorporate Turbo Jam into my workout routine. When I had first gotten the videos - I did them alot and I could definitely see definition and change in my body. I haven't seen any change in a while - so I want to try it again. I'm tired of just wanting change - I want to make it happen.

Weigh In Day

Well - I was NERVOUS!!! It has not been a very good week, starting with the superbowl, leftover snacks and cake and the munchies. I made it to the gym several times, but not last night like I had hoped. But I still checked the scale this morning. 206.7lbs. 1 pound higher than last week.

I was pretty relieved it wasn't worse! I've been pretty bloated this week too. So I was assuming some extra water weight on top of everything else.

So, mentally I think I'm in the right place. Since I didn't have a horrible set back, I think I can make a big difference this week if I do better with my diet. Which should be much easier this week. No parties or unnecessary snacks lying around. I already have plans to go to the gym tomorrow. I think this will be a better week!

Deadline

So - I remembered my one goal that I want to continually strive for each month. To lose 5 pounds a month until Disney. I put a low reachable number - even though I could lose closer to 10 if I was really diligent. Let's be realistic, I'm not very diligent.

So I realize mid-February is almost here and I think I've gained weight - and not lost it. So all the more to STOP EATING!!!

This was very timely - I had a horrible eating day yesterday I really don't want to talk about it. Just know that it was BAD. But, in light of the goal - I am trying to make today a much better day. I had my MOPS meeting today(Mother of PreSchoolers) - and there is always a wonderful buffet of food. It's easy to get a very generous plate of egg and potato casseroles, chips and dips, maybe some raw veggies and then cover the plate with cookies, brownies and donuts. I always eat too well at Mops - if ya know what I mean!

So today I was going to eat only raw fruit and veggies and maybe 1 small sample of a casserole and maybe one small dessert. I did pretty well. I did eat mostly fruit and veggies- but due to the craziness of the morning, I actually had my son with me - so I grabbed him crackers and donut holes and pasta salad. He ate my cookie and some pasta salad. I ate most of the crackers and the two donut holes. But overall - MUCH better than any normal week. There were lots of good casseroles I would have scarfted down.

My only dilemma is... what do I do now? I really am still hungry, but I probably had more calories in a morning than I normally would. My plan is to make a potato soup for dinner, so that shouldn't be horrible for calories. I also plan on going to the gym tonight, since I couldn't go this morning. So I think I have a decent day planned. I'm just happy I didn't let Mops derail me like I usually do.

((((Big sigh of relief!))))

Diet changes

So, I've adjusted my diet a bit. I've not totally made over how I eat - I'm not *strong* enough to do that all at once. But - I'm trying to reduce the amount of carbs I'm eating in the morning. Normally I'd have a high fiber cereal but if that wasn't enough- I'd have a piece of toast. Then maybe a fruit flat.

So now I'm eating two eggs with veggies and a touch of shredded cheese. And if that's not enough - or I'm starving before I have a chance to actually eat it - I'll eat a banana or part of an apple.

This is mostly working out for me. Some days I feel plenty full - other days I'm still hungry. I often have to remind myself after the eggs to eat the fruit - because my instinct tells me - a piece of toast would go great with eggs. So I'm doing pretty good. I'm hoping these small changes will help on the scale. It's less calories - although maybe not as much as I thought. I don't measure the oil I'm using - and apparently 1 TBS of olive oil is 120 calories!!! Yikes! So I will be more careful from now on.

Mirror Mirror...

So - I made it to the gym - Go Me! I jog/walked on the treadmill for a half hour then headed off to Zumba.

I have a love hate relationship with Zumba. I've noticed my pants fitting better, and I attribute that to Zumba because it's something new I've been doing consistently. But I usually want to quit after a few songs. I don't... but I just don't want to do it. Fortunately, I keep going and it's better to do that than to be at home and quit because no one will know.

I also had a realization. I was at the front of the room. Usually this space is taken, but not today. Normally I don't mind... but I found myself mambo-ing to the end of the mirror behind the weight rack. Am I really that fat?

Now granted, I was in some loose pants and my comfy shirt. No form. but WoW - I just looked like a typical fat girl.

I hope that's not offensive to anyone - but I guess my mental image of myself is much more pleasing to the eye! As much as I've been exercising this past year - I'm still a flabby fat mess - and it's shocking to me! I feel like I need to loose a little weight - that over all I have a normal figure that I just need to widdle down.

Apparently I need more than that.

I'm not giving up home though. I am determined to lose weight - to widdle down my figure. I really need to take my diet seriously. If I don't I'll never make a real difference in my weight and shape. I think I'll go do a TurboJam sculpt video before I shower. TJ really seemed to tone me pretty well.

Weekend 1

Well - it wasn't the greatest weekend. My goal was to stay on plan, and that didn't happen. On a positive note - I did make some healthy choices on Saturday- which I wouldn't normally have done. And for the most part I'm sticking to my eggs for breakfast.

But the Superbowl party did me in. I actually started eating poorly at lunch time. And I think I'm going to be struggling today as we still have a significant amount of snacks left. I need to get to the gym. And I plan on it... but should I go now - or wait for Zumba?

It's clear to me as well that sleep plays a major roll in all of my diet world. It gives me the energy I need to workout - to make healthy decisions and to not crave the unhealthy foods. I think if I just committed to an earlier bedtime - it could really help give me that slight edge to stay on track.

Well - WI is on Friday - I need to get back into shape!

February Challenge

So - February I have a unique challenge. It's not something I thought of or organized, I decided to commit to this challenge after reading this post.

Basically you just need to stay on plan for the weekends. I know I am totally guilty of throwing the plan out the window Friday night - so I'm hoping this will help start a healthy habit for myself.

Unfortunately, this first weekend is the SuperBowl ~ and we're throwing a party with our friends. Although - I have alot of control over the food that will be there, and despite all this, I still planned unhealthy foods! But there will be a few options I can have and my goal is to not focus on the food. We're not having a party to eat - but to hang out and watch the game.

I've been doing pretty well today though. I didn't feel like making my eggs and spinach breakfast - but my husband did it for me!!! For lunch I had a bowl of homemade minestrone soup and later a banana for a snack. I keep wanting junk but then I find that healthy alternative. I keep choosing healthy - if only to splurge a little on Sunday without it hurting too much!

I'll let you how how it goes!

Weigh In day

I haven't had a regular WI day for a while- mostly because I would forget! I believe Friday would be the best WI day for me. With WW, when I saw good result on the scale (or just the motivation from the meetings) I always had a great week! But I WI on Mondays. By the weekend I didn't have the motivation anymore - and there are so many temptations over a weekend. So I'm hoping a Friday WI will help keep me focused over the weekend when routines are lost.

So WI day!! I really haven't been doing well this week - but I did yesterday... and I think it helped! I'm at 205.7. I'm down 1.3lbs!!! I'll take that!

My challenge today is I have a friend coming over - and will be here over lunch. I didn't really have a plan for lunch - but normally we just have sandwiches and chips or something. I don't want that. But I'm not sure she would want anything I would cook for myself... So I'll be thinking about it as I get ready for the day.

This is the perfect time...

I'm excited for this time of year! It's such a great time of year - not for the weather - but for all those new resolutions we all made.

I've noticed a trend in those I speak with ~ I think we're all just getting into our new routines of diet and exercise. We've all bounced back after the New Year and are putting time into our new lifestyles.

And I'm the same - which is why I'm so excited for this time of year!

New Years is tough - because I'm usually not done celebrating Christmas with all the family. There's still plenty of leftovers and my birthday is a week later. It just takes a while before all these over-indulgent situations are behind us. I feel we're at that point and now there's no more roadblocks until Easter(which is in April, by the way.) So there is this huge block of time to really focus on healthy eating and exercising without society throwing the obligatory temptations our way.

Well, except for the Superbowl - and we're throwing a party. We really just want an excuse to spend time with our friends. I haven't planned the healthiest menu - but there's still time to put in some healthy alternatives.

So - yesterday was a poor eating day, but today is a million times better! I'm reconsidering my diet - and I'll talk more about that later when I make some decisions... but here's my day so far:

Breakfast: 1 egg + 3 egg whites with spinach and a half oz of Swiss cheese.
Lunch: Caesar salad w/ grilled chicken at McD's w/ balsamic dressing.(NO snacking on the kids food!)
Afternoon Snack: Turkey wrapped in spinach.

Apparently 585 calories according to SparkPeople! Whoo HOo!!! Not sure what dinner entails - but if I keep my portions reasonable - I think today is going to be a great day!!!

1 step forward, 2 steps back

Story of my life! I had a great workout day - and a crappy eating day. I didn't know I was eating poorly till I was showering this afternoon and counting up the calories in my head. Somewhere around 1200 - and dinner was just around the corner. I kept remembering the little things I had. Like juice with my mid morning snack(or early lunch... whatever.) Oh - and a cookie as soon as I was home from the grocery store. The trail mix with my half a slice of pizza(late lunch...)It just kept adding up. And to add insult to injury - we went to Pizza Hut buffet for dinner!

I knew our dinner plans - and I wasn't planning on curbing myself too much. I had been extremely stressed out the past day or two - most likely from spiking hormones ~ or something of the sort. So I figured Pizza Hut would be a good end to the stress eating and I'd get back on track. But I thought I was making healthy choices today. They just added up and up!

Well, lets get to the workouts. I did a walking video at home in the morning. I also went to the gym around noon and I did half of a Zumba class then cut our early and ran a mile on the track before I had to get the kids.

I did great on the mile!!! I'm really quite proud of myself! I decided to run for time, and not distance. Before I would run a quarter of a mile, then walk a few laps then repeat until I had my mile in. This time I just ran for 5 minutes. I lost count of the laps the first time around - it was making it harder... counting the time away. But I wanted to know how much I did, so I counted the second 5 minutes and I had run 11 laps(20 laps = 1 mile). I couldn't believe I had run 11 laps at one time! This 5K training is a real possibility! I thought I could barely run a quarter of a mile - but really - I was limiting myself to a number. I can't wait to do this again - maybe when I'm not half exhausted from Zumba.

I also found another neat trick for counting my laps while I ran. For each lap I was on - I would think of an encouraging number to go with it. For example - 4. I'm loosing weight 4 Disney. 5 of is will be headed to Disney!! 6 days to play around at Disney! Okay... obviously I'm a little focused on Disney. But that's good - I have a focus. Now I just need to track my food better and keep my calories in check. I'm on it.

Oh - and for the record - I did have a nice big salad at Pizza Hut - with no dressing(because I hate their dressing....)

School Cancellation

So my daughter has no school today. It started as a 2 hour delay - which I was worried would disrupt and become an excuse for not accomplishing anything. I'm proud to say it didn't. In fact - before the cancellation - I went down into the basement for a walking video.


Normally - I wouldn't do something as easy as a walking video - but it's what works for my home and my sanity. I love Turbo Jam, but with all the moving around - my kids get in the way and if I'm interrupted, I miss crucial parts of the workout. Needless to say - I'm easily frustrated and irritated at this point and it makes me grumpy for the whole day. I know this about myself. I've stopped fighting the forces of nature and have adapted. I go to the gym, or I do a walking dvd. I don't care if I miss a few steps and no children are injured physically or emotionally.

So my plan for today is to get out of the house - despite the ice and snow warnings, we must get out. So I figure I'll hit the noon Zumba again and go to the grocery store. The kids love the grocery store. They'll have some play time out of this house - and I'll get some sanity and another workout. And - the cookies are gone to boot. So the day has to get better - right? Think I might go cut up that pineapple I bought a few days ago.