Thanksgiving Week

Well - this week has had it's ups and downs.

I finally saw my doctor about my thyroid. My numbers were indeed out of whack and my medication has been altered. I also made sure to specify that I got the brand medication and not the generic. I remembered him mentioning that when I first started the medication that the brand worked much better than the generic, but some how along the way I switched.

It's been 4 days and I am feeling much better. I wouldn't say I'm thinking clearly, but I have alot more energy and motivation. I feel like things are possible to accomplish. And that yes, maybe I can begin to loose weight again.

Despite some renewed hope on the weight loss front, I've eaten like a pig this week. Well, maybe not that bad- but not good. I'm holding out for New Years - but trying to not ruin myself in the meantime. Well, ruin any more...

So far the damage is +10 lbs since August.

It's very clear to me that my thyroid had alot to do with my energy levels and my mood. I just stayed up till midnight dusting the living room. I haven't dusted for at least 6 weeks. You'll know I'm better when I can actually remember when I last did something.

He informed me that so many things, and all the things I mentioned to him, can change or be magnified thru the thyroid. That was nice to hear because I was feeling rather depressed and didn't know if I needed to see a counselor. I'll give this some time to see if this helps. It's funny though - thru out the conversation he asked me pointed questions where I would answer with an example- and I kept feeling like I was not giving him the best answer or couldn't remember all that I wanted to say. Later I remembered what I should have said. And it's just another clear example of how I've lost my mind because of my thyroid. I can't believe I forgot to tell him these things!!! Not that it mattered- he got the point... but sheeesh! This mental problem I'm having is BAD!

Alright - enough said. I'll be back when I'm actually ready to make some changes.

Denial

I just dread this post. I dread all the time between this post and my last- and probably a month or two before that as well.

I'm just in denial about everything.

I'm mad at myself, annoyed and just plain depressed about where I am in all this. Life is busy and I just don't know that I have tons of time to devote to changing my weight. Although you don't need a ton of time and I'm not using that as an excuse, it just means I'm going to have to do things differently. But hey- what I'm doing isn't working anyways!

We got back from our Disney trip last week-which is just a reminder that I'm not anywhere where I wanted to be with my weight. I had a goal. I just didn't persevere and stick to any plan long enough to get solid results. So disappointed in myself.

What's worse is on the trip- I seemed to put on weight. Sure, I indulged, I planned on it to some degree! But we did walk - ALL - DAY - LONG! In the end I put on 3 pounds. Not too bad. It felt like more though because as the week went on, my clothes weren't fitting very well and I had to pick out a few of the roomier items from what I brought. So depressing and annoying.

The real blow to the ego though is viewing the Disney pictures. I always hint during events that "it sure would be nice to be remembered..." because I usually handle the camera. (And frankly, you don't get your picture taken unless your with one of the kids. Sorry, just fact of nature that kids make it acceptable to take your picture- but otherwise... well, I need to take pictures of the kids.)

Back to the point though- my wonderful husband took over some camera duty throughout the trip. At a couple points he decides to take pictures when we're unaware. Just walking to and from areas- nothing real exciting, and frankly not pictures I would want to keep or show off.

But what they show me is what I really look like.

Sure, I have mirrors in the house. I should know. But my mental image is of what and who I was before kids. Which was not skinny, by any means. (Although I would LOVE to be at that weight now!!) But my image is still the same- maybe larger, bc I know I don't fit into a size 12 anymore, but roughly the same. Obviously overweight, but still a normal shape.

Well- that's not what I saw. It's not extreme, I'm at about 200 lbs. But I look round. I look... wide. I look horrible!

I always try to see the curve in my waist or the pleasing neckline of a shirt, or the right length of the capri pants. I look to see how a shirt fits, but I don't see the shape that it's fitting.

I'm so embarrassed to look at those pictures. Is this how everyone sees me and yet I thought I was more normal than that? I always felt I just needed to get off the baby weight (and more would be nice) and it was just slipping from my grasp. I wasn't really fat because it was just temporary - I still had my shape and I just wasn't working hard enough to make those changes.

Well, I think somewhere along the way I slipped away from that into - fat!

I feel like I should post a picture to illustrate the blog, but I'm not going to. Why would I?? But I'll probably print some of the pictures to use as motivation. To keep me out of denial.

I guess the first step is getting on the scale in the morning.

Weekend Away

This weekend we were out of town so my amazing husband could attempt an amazing feat: the Megatransect!

This trail marathon is more climbing and hiking than it is running. I would love to just climb and hike it for fun in smaller more manageable spurts - but that's not why we were there. 850 inspired fools started the journey in 45 degree rain and mud. Ugh - could it have been much worse???

Unfortunately, my husband was unprepared for several aspects of this race, and despite all his time training, he did not finish the race. He's not upset about it though, he knew he physically could not continue on. He was not dressed warmly enough for the cold conditions. Hello- it's only Oct 1st!!! He has a cold, and if we're honest, it's probably the flu. He's congested, achy, and occasionally suffering chills and hot sweats. Despite training for a trail run, he was not as prepared for rocky, mountainous terrain. Especially the effects it would have on his one knee. He's dealt with sore ankles and toes and all sorts of stuff, but his knees never gave him any problems until race day - so obviously something about the terrain and his method of executing but him in a bad spot - that slowed him down until he quit.

I think what bothers him most is that other people he knew personally who just showed up with no previous training - finished the race. That would irk me too.

Anyways- I'm absolutely amazed at what he did accomplish and what he put his body through- it's incredible. I'm slightly jealous that he was doing the race and I wasn't... maybe sometime in the future we'll both attempt it together??? (don't tell him, I'm not ready to commit to anything out loud!)

So, a whole weekend away. It was a good 4 hour drive so we pretty much had to stay two nights. That's alot of eating out! We actually only ate out once on Friday and once on Saturday- twice on Sunday though- mostly because it was grandma's birthday so we met the family for dinner.

I definitely had a plan and strategy for staying wheat free. It went fairly well - for the most part.

Friday was good - no problem. Saturday, things started to crumble a bit. We went out for dinner and I got a burger. There really wasn't much on the menu that I wanted. I had my salad and got a side of mashed potatoes. The burger was fairly plain and blah despite the cheese and bacon. It was just kinda dry. Since I wasn't enjoying it much w/o the bud, I thought I would just eat the bun. Um, yeah - not much better. So I stopped eating the bun and just got more ketchup. Problem solved. I did eat too much though - and I regretted doing that. I knew I was full but finished my potatoes anyways, just because I could and they tasted better than the burger. I did go to the gym later that evening to put in a decent workout.

Over all Saturday was pretty good. Oh, I did have 1 cookie. So also 1 major slip up that I did on purpose. Mad at myself.

Sunday started out good - lunch I managed well, although my satisfaction level has gone down with my food choices. I also had ice cream... which is never a great choice, but most likely wheat-free. Dinner was Red Lobster. Yes, I ate a roll. I am human, yah know! And I had Parmesan crusted tilapia(which included bread crumbs.)So not very good choices over all - but I don't like shrimp or salmon... and I'm nervous to get a spicy Cajun fish, so I thought this was the best choice for me.

So this weekend could have been better - but definitely better than I would have been in the past. I'm looking ahead to this next week - and diet is going to be the key. My two days of reliant workout times is now filled with field trips. So I have no designated workout times, lots of additional obligations and need to designate time to my family so we don't' all fall apart because I'm over committed. Read: no gym this week.

I don't know, I'm relying alot on this no-wheat theory.

Official 1 week Wheat-Free

I don't know that I ever followed a diet as well as I've followed this one. It's really just one rule- but it eliminates so much in our culture!!!

I didn't cheat once, at least to my knowledge. So what are the results? How do I feel?

1. Well - first of all - it's amazing I stuck to this, and with such ease. I never stick to any diet all that well. So this in and of itself is amazing. Truly points to the increase in cravings/appetite being caused by wheat.

2. Wasn't as hungry. I was satisfied with less and needed to snack less. I kept snacks around though and would snack before a meal because my food would always be prepared after the rest of my family was fed.

3. I came down with a cold. hmmm?

4. Slightly gas-y but still able to socialize!

5. I lost 3 pounds!!! Whoo Hoo! Two pounds were in the first two days, so probably mostly water weight. That's okay.

6. I lost 1 inch in my waist and 1 inch in my hips!! AWESOME! I was a bit worried because I did measure myself halfway through the week and there was no change... but I'm very excited about this! It took me a month with Jillian Michael's to lose the same amount of inches and weight.

So I'm planning on staying wheat free. I'm limiting my other grains(mostly oats and corn) to once a day. I just tried a grain-free pancake recipe, not too bad! So I will have at least 1 more breakfast grain-free. I've also been eating a baked pumpkin-pie oatmeal. Obviously has grains but makes breakfast fast. I altered my granola recipe so it has no wheat in it, but obviously has oats. I also found some corn chips w/ flax seeds which I have occasionally for a salty/crunchy snack. But not every day. I eat chocolate. So I may need to find a grain-free brownie, that would be awesome.

This next week I plan on making more soup, to eat, probably a minestrone. I also want to try to make a cauliflower pizza crust. I meant to this week but timing didn't work out.

My biggest issue is we're going out of town for the weekend. I'm okay with that, unless we hit a continental breakfast w/ cereal and pastries. But I'll bring my snacks and granola bars + fruit. I'll make it work.

I'm actually afraid to eat wheat and have a sudden bowel movement attack! Especially when I'm out, so that helps me make wise choices when eating out. I'll report back next week!

Wheat-Free Update

Well, my first attempt at removing wheat from my diet didn't go so well. I certainly did make some wheat free choices and adjusted to accommodate, but then I would give in and choose the sweet, wheat-filled snack. So it wasn't really wheat-free.

But I'm refocused and rededicated to giving it a real try. Today is my third day totally wheat free. At least to the best of my knowledge. I say that because this evening we stopped at McDonald's for dinner after a trip to an out of town zoo. I got a quarter pounder(no bun) and I ate some fries. I knew there was a possibility that the meat would have "filler" that might contain some wheat. It must have. Within the half hour I was in desperate need of a bathroom. This can be very common when wheat is reintroduced. Although I am a bit surprised because it hasn't been that long. Of course - we are talking McD's though - not stellar food.

So I'm determined to give it a try. I keep reading accounts of how people lost weight and inches within the first two weeks. So I'm testing it out. I'm more prepared with wheat-free snacks and meal ideas. It's been surprisingly easy. It helps that it's not all carbs that are restricted so when eating out, a potato is an excellent choice! (~for the most part.) I'm eating a fair amount of fruit - which I usually resist for some reason. And I'm really not tempted by the cupcakes and fresh bread. Sure - I wanted the chicken bruchetta chibatta at the restaurant... but I got a smothered chicken breast with smashed potatoes and garden salad instead.

Right now my favorite wheat-free snacks include:
- Trail mix w/ a mix of nuts, raisins, M&M's
- Dried apricots
- Homemade granola bars(also a quick breakfast w/ some raw milk)
- Apple slices w/ PB
- Homemade yogurt w/ honey

I keep some trail mix and apricots in the car to keep hunger and temptation away when I drive. I'm trying to be more sensitive to my hunger levels. I don't eat a whole granola bar because I should finish it. I'll eat part and save the rest for later, when a few bites can hold me off to the next meal.

I'm loving waking up in the morning to see if the scale shows a difference - so far 2 pounds down!!! We'll see what tomorrow holds!

Wheat Belly

Wheat Belly by Willian Davis, MD
Lose the wheat, lose the weight, and find your path back to health

It's a book that I'm reading/already read.

It's written by a doctor who gives almost a text book explanation about wheat. I must say - to my foggy mind, it was hard to follow at times so I just skipped portions. Really, I was looking for weight loss stories and the method I should be following.

That's an actually very small part of the book. There is a great deal of interesting information regarding how wheat affect your body.

Okay - I just typed most of this blog entry and it wasn't saved and now it's lost. That's extremely annoying so I'll just get to the point of this entry.

So yesterday I attempted to cut out wheat. I wasn't tooo serious about it because I'm not really prepared to do so. But I thought I would see how it went and not worry about slipping up. He talks a bit about wheat withdrawal, so I wanted to see if I would have an issue with that. (I'm assuming I would because all diets are difficult for me!)

My eating was mostly wheat free, but not great. I had candy(wheat free!) and a side of pasta at dinner. The worst was then later(probably because I had the pasta) I said forget it ~ I want cookies tonight! So I threw some premade dough into the oven and ended up eating 6 cookies. Right before bed. How many diet rules am I breaking here?!?!

And yah know what? I'm down a full pound, the first in weeks!!! (Not that I've been actively trying too hard, but still.)

So I think it's definitely worth attempting! He does recommend not eating other processed foods or lots of other carbs but does reassure you will have success and health related results just from dropping the wheat. I think I can handle that. I can still have rice and potatoes, just not pasta. I have options. Sure, I should cut back on those things - and some days I will and some I may not.

It also gives me hope that maybe I'll be down a dress size by our Disney trip - just 38 days away!!!! Yikes!

Slipper Slope

It's been a long 4-5 weeks since I've really been on track. I feel so defeated and so helpless yet so focused on what I want. I'm my own oxymoron, heavy on the moron part.

Initially I fell off plan because I was overwhelmed and stressed. I wasn't in control of my surroundings and eventually I liked my food options more than staying in control. Well, once you start to slip, eventually you think - I might as well slip to my full potential, right? Or something like that.

So I did try to maintain some composure with my eating for a bit, until something happened, probably a weekend, and I started to over indulge. I'm not a binge eater - but I still was pushing to enjoy everything I had missed. After a week or two(-ish) of that I started to tell myself to knock it off!!! I didn't have to be ridiculous and over eat for the sake of over eating!

So I slowed down.

All this time I was still going to the gym 1-3 times per week. I had stopped the Jillian Michael's workout - the thought was just too much for me.

I've put on about 5 pounds. Could be worse.

I keep thinking if I just start small, one step at a time, then I'll start to see a difference. (see sugar post - FAIL!)My main thought was no snacks at night. This is hard for me... but I've seen results so I knew it would be worth it.

I just can't seem to do it! My husband was even going to start doing this, but he's still eating pretzels and ice cream sandwiches!!! So we're both struggling.

I've made an appt with the doctor. I want to get my thyroid rechecked. I have hypothyroidism which can slow down your metabolism. I'm thinking I'm out of whack - and not just because of the whole weight loss thing, but in other areas of my life. I've been saying for weeks now that there's just something wrong with me. It's kind of like when a mother knows her baby isn't healthy - despite the lack of fever or other symptoms... it's like that. But I just never made an appt. I'm anti-committal.

So I've finally made an appt. I'm hoping to shed some light on what's going on with me internally. I know there won't be a quick fix, but if I could just clear my mind and focus more, that might help. My main problem is remembering anything. I've bought the same item twice in one week because I thought we still needed it. I've missed two appts where I was supposed to babysit someone's kid. I forgot about that sugar post as soon as I posted it. And more and more - I just can't think strait and it's gotten worse. So I'm hoping there's something that can be done to help me in all these areas. It's a stretch, but we'll see. No good just sitting at home twiddling my thumbs.

Simple Thought

I think I just totally need to cut out sugar.

Ugh.

Any suggestions?

Possibly the first to be to wait till after TOM???

Nah - let's just try it now, any avoidance of sugar - even if I don't make it through the week is progress.

I'll post my progress, just for a little accountability.

Sorry I've been MIA

I can't believe how long it's been since I posted!!! I was trying to cut back on how much I post - guess I accomplished that goal!

Anyways - I haven't fallen off the wagon - at least not totally. I was out of town and I did a pretty good job. I worked out two days and was very conscious of my snacking and eating. Although our meals were not what I had hoped(no time for a sit down meal) so I ended up eating any hot food I could find.

The down side was when I arrived home I had house guests. Not a big deal - but I was overwhelmed and my eating just went into survival mode. Plus we had a family picnic... so I just ate and didn't think about it.

So now I'm trying to get back on track with workouts and eating. Yesterday was NOT a good eating today. It just can't be with things like Pizza Hut and DQ in the mix. I did get my workout in, and I was proud of that because I really didn't want to do it.

My workouts seem to be the only consistent thing right now. I'm attempting to do the 30 Day Slim Down by Jillian Michaels. It's a mix of her workouts. I'm definitely not following it 100%, because of traveling and just not being able to workout a few days... but I'm giving it my best shot. There are some HARD workouts in there!!! But it's mixed with the 30DS which eases it up. And really, this is where my body is changing, where I'm losing inches in the hips and waist- so I'll keep doing it! I have about 2 full months before Disney - so I don't want to slack.

It's so hard to stay on track during the busiest part of summer!!!

Weigh In and Status Update

Well, it's Friday - my unofficial WI day.

I weighed in at 193.3 lbs. That's where I've been all week! I'm okay with that though, I did have half a DQ Blizzard the night before. Over all though - I've done great with my diet and exercise this week. Sure there were somethings I could have done better, but I'm rarely perfect, so it's pretty much perfect for me!

Despite my ice cream treat last night, I was still about 1500-1600 calories for the day, and I didn't finish it, I ate a (generous) half and put it in the freezer. I think mentally I knew I didn't need any of it, and I felt bad eating it. It had been a rough day emotionally/hormonally and I knew earlier that I would have one because of it. Not good. But later - I didn't feel as if I needed it. If my husband wasn't so gun-ho about getting them... well maybe I wouldn't have?

Anyways - I'm pretty pleased with my eating habits this week. Most days I'm around 1200-1400 calories, and I'm tracking too! I've been exercising most days. I'm on day 16 or 17 with the 30 Day Shred. I started really late Wednesday evening(w/ day 17) and was interrupted by my daughter having *girl* problems... so I just quit and dealt with her. Sometimes you have to just skip it. The next day I was being hormonal and just didn't want to do anything. I was surprised that I pulled myself out of it before the end of the day... but like I said, I still ate the DQ.

I've done more cardio and strength this week too. Life is more normal so I was able to get to the gym 3 times this week! Pretty impressed with myself! I'm hoping when TOM has passed I'll see some big results. So I'm not getting discouraged yet.

My goal was to be under 190 by the end of July, I might have to push that out a little ways since TOM is being so involved right now. Either way, it doesn't matter, because the goal after that is to lose 5-7 pounds in August. I'm going oot Aug 4-7 so I'm just hoping before I leave I will be at my July goal. The next big trick will to be *good* for 4 days while I'm traveling with some girl friends! I'll have to be really careful and diligent about making it to the gym. Ugh!! I just hope that I do make my July goal and that will be all the motivation I need to be good those 4 days. I don't want to screw it up!!!

Progress!

I'm still ticking away! sorry I haven't blogged much but it's been a very busy time and I've been focusing slot on diet and exercise, but I haven't had time to process it.

So what have I been up to? Where am I at? Well, strangely enough I'm at my new lowest weight, 193.6 lbs!!! I'm on day 14 of the 30 DS. I've also changed my diet up a bit.

Diet info first. It's not a huge change, but I think it needed adjusting. I was doing low carb- although not super well. Let's be honest, I don't do any diet super well. I've been reading a book called Healthy Living God's Way. There's seven steps, and I just finished reading the section on food. It was nothing shocking - it said to eat real wholesome foods and cut out the junk. But with relation to dieting, she broke it down saying that your plate should be half veggies/fruit, 1/4 carbs - only twice a day, and 1/4 protein, only once a day. I think visualizing that is helping me. I've been striving for more wholesome foods anyways and it's not a difficult transition. Although I will probably add protein into my snacks. Not sure if this is explaining the recent weight loss? The first real difference was I was adding more fruit into my diet and a little bread. Fruit is making this much easier!!!

So where am I at? You might recall me discussing my ideal plan, in a perfect world. My goal for July was to get below 190 lbs. I was struggling slot just a week ago but now things are turning around and I'm in disbelief. Could I actually reach my goal?!?! I'm going to give it my best shot!!! I can't wait to see how this week goes! I'm determined to follow this diet. I have my salad greens cleaned and ready to go. I have veggies and cheese cut up to go with my new found love : spinach & artichoke hummus!

Weigh In Day

It is Friday isn't it? I've kind lost my regular WI days - I look at every WI as an official WI lately.

But, good or bad, I'm at 194.9 lbs. Still headed down, but that's still 5 lbs I want to lose in 16 days. I think I can do that! I am really motivated. I'm about to do day 7 of my 30DS. I'm so proud I'm still going strong with this!

Update on my Level 2 cheat. Yikes!!! That was extremely hard on my body. Mostly my back/ shoulder blades. I noticed it last night while sleeping... as I tightened up I had alot of back pain and could only sleep on my back. Rolling to the side was not an option. When I woke up every movement hurt. I got better as I warmed up for the day - so here's hoping I can complete Level 1 today! It's one of the reasons I didn't worry about getting the workout in too early.

I've tried to keep my calories down today because we're headed out to a fancy dinner.. and when it's fancy, I want something good. I guess it's all about portion size, right? Plus I really don't want to throw away my efforts on one dinner.

I Cheated!

I did slot of things different today. Today was day 6 of the 30 DS. Definitely level 1. But I was actually feeling quite froggy, so I attempted level 2. It wasn't as bad or scary as I remembered but there were definitely exercises I don't like. I was also extremely frustrated as I was interrupted several times. I'm not sure how vital the 20 minutes of consecutive exercise be ~ well, consecutive.

I feel like I'm not being very true to the 30 DS "program." I've now skipped 2 days, although not consecutive. I'm not following any specific diet program very well. But I'm still not giving up. I'm still choosing to get the workout in every day possible. I want to complete this.

On a more positive perspective... I am exercising more and in general moving more. I'm impressed with my ability to do the level 2 workout. I'm prepping healthy food. I'm still trying to keep my carbs low and I'm even tracking my food! I'm down about 2 lbs for the month. I had hoped it would come off a little quicker, but at least we're headed in the right direction.

On a side note~ I'm finding it easier to change directions ( ie healthy choices) thru out the day. Unfortunately it can go both ways. But I'm not just giving up on the day just because I splurged. There's always an opportunity to help redeem the day. Hmmm... Maybe I'll head out for a walk before it's too late!

In an *almost* perfect world

I have a plan... my mind was working while on the elliptical today - an ideal plan for achieving reasonable but ideal goals before Disney in October.

Is it possible?

Yes.

Is it realistic?

Maybe.

It would just require me to stay on plan and stay motivated for the next 3 months.

Well, my July goal is to get below 190 lbs. I started at 197.5 lbs(or something close to that). But my low for June was 193.4 lbs. So I'm hoping to drop some of this weight quickly because it was a bad weekend flux, right? Anyways - I'm currently at 165.6 lbs. So I'm on my way and I have some positive routines in place. More about that in a minute.

So if I lose and get to 190 by August then that leaves 2.5 months. What weight do I really want to be? Surely I won't be at my goal weight. And I looked at it - if I lost 5 lbs per month, I'd be at around 180, maybe better. Well, where does that put me? That would be a total of 26 pounds lost. I would still want to lose another 40 pounds after Disney. It'd be nice if it was more even. So the more I thought about it, the more I thought "in a perfect world" I'd like to lose about 33 lbs total - making my weight 173. That's 22 lbs from today.

Is it possible? I think it might be. 180 lb might be more realistic, and that would be okay but I'd like to reach for the big goal of 173 lbs. My first baby step is getting below 190 lbs. Which would be Awesome!!!

Current Routines:
- 30 Day Shred. I'm currently only on day 4 - but my goal is to complete it(with Sunday's off) and during that last week I'll probably order the Firm Express. I'd really like to try that!

- Low Carb Diet. I'm attempting to make low/no carb choices most of the day. I'm not sure what carbs I'm averaging, but with tracking I'll become more aware and then can tweak it as needed. Sugar is my downfall but I'm keeping it in check.

- Tracking Calories. My goal is to be below 1600 calories. As long as I track I'm able to do so. It does help me make better choices especially with snacking. Last night I realized I had about 200 calories I could eat(after a wimpy dinner) and I ended up with some sugar free jello and cool whip for 50 calories and 3 carbs. I'm realizing I don't HAVE to eat all 1600 calories. I wasn't as hungry as I thought I should be.

- Supplements. I'm taking some vitamins, prescriptions(for my thyroid), and supplements to aid in low carb eating. Not sure if it all helps, but it's getting me to take my vitamins which I haven't taken since pregnancy.

- Move more. I'm trying to keep the frame of mind, move more eat less. Nothing radical - but often I think a short walk with the family is nothing compared to the 1.5 hrs in the gym. (I'm still meeting my mom at the gym in addition to the 30 DS.)But I'm looking for ways to keep moving in the evening and to not sit on the couch. Sometimes it's an ab workout and sometimes we head to the beach or woods to explore. Every little bit helps, right?

Day 3 - 30DS

Workouts:
Well, I made it again! I feel pretty resolved to complete the 30 days - although don't make me think about it all at once!

I'm pretty sore - all of me. I was thinking just my legs, but my shoulders and arms are sore too. Will I feel this way for the whole month?? Probably.

I was thinking of taking Sundays off, well at least this Sunday. I have alot going on and I think I would like to give my body a day of rest each week. Hopefully it will keep me from feeling burned out on this journey. I just hope that I don't let myself get lazy and give up come Monday. I don't think so though - at least not this week!

Diet:
I did pretty well eating yesterday - I even tracked my food! I'm not 100% sure what my calories were because I don't know how many nuts I actually ate. We went out to dinner to Red Lobster and I tracked all of that. Should have cut down on the rolls a bit, but I was still only about 1600 calories for the day. Lots of veggies yesterday.

I'm relaxing a bit on carbs - definitely too many yesterday with the rolls - but otherwise not too bad. For example, I'm having a half banana before my workouts to help energize me and I had popcorn before bed. I'm still choosing low carb most of the time, but I will eat some fruit and not feel guilty over some bread. I just want to minimize it and choose the complex carbs as much as possible.

Overall:
I feel pretty good about continuing this workout and keeping up the diet plan. Even though it's Saturday and I don't have a specific plan just yet - I feel really good about everything and feel confident I will stay on plan this weekend.

30DS - Day 2

Well, first baby step done. I set myself up for success yesterday - and it made a difference.

I set my alarm, I set out my clothes, I went to bed (slightly) early, I made an extra salad for today, and ate a small DQ blizzard before bed(extra guilt!).

So this morning I didn't want to get up, big surprise. I didn't talk myself out of it though. I had the extra mental support that my husband might still be rowing in the basement. Bum never made it to the basement like I did, but I didn't know that from our bedroom.

So I did it. It really wasn't that bad. I feel stronger already. I weighed myself this morning too, and I was down about a pound from yesterday. I didn't eat great yesterday - hence the blizzard. But TOM is on it's was out - so maybe that has something to do with it.

I've already modified one of the moves to make it more difficult - well - to feel anything really. One of the last strength exercises for Level 1 is a chest fly. Well with my 5 pound weights it's pretty easy. So what I do is a do the exercise on the exercise ball instead of the floor(more movement) and I twist the weights at the top so that my pinkie side of the weight come together and touch. It's much easier to *squeeze* and feel the chest working. You could easily just grab heavier weights, and maybe I'll do that.. but for now this is a quick fix that works for me.

Dare I Attempt?

Well - the clock keeps ticking till our Disney trip. And my convention weekend. Convention weekend is only 27 days away. Not sure about Disney just yet - don't want to obsess about it. ;)

Anyway - I'm considering attempting the 30 Day Shred. I was actually motivated by(and more interested in trying) the Firm Express that's been advertised on TV. But I know the results they show are less likely to be found in me - for a variety of reasons. I was searching online to find some real life examples and to see if it'd be worth trying. There's very little out there, probably because it's newer.

I also wonder if I should invest the money when I have several videos at home that I don't use. You can probably see where I'm headed. If you've seen the Firm Express infomercial you know they're using short bursts of energy followed by a recovery time. It's a bit more complex I'm sure - but it does sound similar to Jillian Michael's circuit training routines.

I also searched for results for the 30DS - with lots out there. Results are good - nothing amazing like 20 pounds lost but alot of inches lost. And inches matter alot!! Because it's more about me becoming smaller(and a happier healthier weight) than just a number game.

I have two problems though.

1. I hate the 30DS. It's not Jillian, it's because I've done level 1 many times and I don't like it ~ not for 10 days in a row. And I know level 2 is harder... so it's a wall every morning of doing a workout I don't particularly like.

2. I'm horrible at completing things. It's true - it's definitely apart of me, even though I'm aware of it and don't like it. I have trouble following through. I actually considered getting thru at least a week of the 30DS before posting it on my blog. I haven't - but I thought about it.

But here's what's awesome about it.
1. If I do complete 30 days - I'll definitely make some changes in my body.
2. I'll be closer to my goals. - especially my first time sensitive goal.
3. I will have become stronger.
4. I'll have completed something!!!
5. I'll have developed a new routine of putting fitness first in my day.
6. Maybe I'll even get my eating under control!

Looks like there's alot more positive than negative. I'll have to keep coming back and reading my hopeful results - and keep striving towards them. Maybe if I complete this and am looking for something new - I'll try the Firm Express. Which would be a nice reward don't yah think??

Oh - P.S. I've already finished Day 1 of 30DS. Didn't love it but enjoyed the comfort of knowing the routine. Definitly worked up a sweat and flexed some muscles I haven't worked in a while.

So Annoyed With Myself

I'm so mad! I totally messed up the 4th of July. Part of it was planned. I knew I would eat a piece of lemon cake and strawberry rhubarb pie. Well, I didn't know there would be brownies too. I didn't eat a brownie though - and had just half a piece of pie - until I had the other half of pie and half a brownie.

Okay - I can live with that. Not trilled, but whatever.

But then we went to fireworks at great grandma's house. She had all sorts of snacks for us after the fireworks. Um, grandma, it's 10pm, the kids need to go to bed! So I let my husband take the kids home and I stayed with my parents and ate pie and ice cream. I didn't want it, I don't think any of us did. But what is she going to do with a whole pie? It wasn't even good. Neither was the lemon cake, really. I was disappointed.

I'm up over a pound and I'm so mad. I ate low carb at dinner and low cal throughout the day. I hate the *obligation* to eat. I suppose I could have just gone home and avoided the whole issue - but I don't see this side of my family enough, so I didn't want to.

I'm going to continue to keep my low carb efforts low cal too - see if I can get this weight off quickly.

Back on Track

The Strawberry Sabotage of 2011 definitely set me back, a solid 4 pounds.

It wasn't just the strawberries - at was the carb cravings that did me in. I've been struggling with sweets every night. I have been making low carb choices during the day - but get relaxed about it in the evening and then toss it out the window with a bunch of snacks late.

But I'm back on track now. Not sure what triggered be to get back on track. I think it was remembering my goal. It was remembering the clock is ticking and the Disney trip is closer all the time. I will be super disappointed if I don't make significant progress before then. I don't expect to be at goal weight by any means - but well on my way. Not screwing around with the same 5 pounds.

I also noticed I'm getting a little chub. As easily as I noticed a difference in my clothes with just a few pounds lost - it started coming back. NOT OKAY WITH THAT!

On a plus side - I did my measurements for July 1st - and I lost 1.5 inches - mostly in my arms and waist. I'm actually pretty excited about that!!! I threw on a shirt the other day - one that was purchased but never worn because it just didn't fit in the arms - and it was perfect!!! I wore it for our anniversary dinner! I've really wanted my arms to shape up a bit for the summer sleeveless look - and they totally give my chubbiness away - so it seems like it's working!

I technically didn't lose any weight this month - maybe half a pound. But at my low I was down about 4ish pounds - I forget exactly.

So all those things together have motivated me to quit screwing this up and get back on track.

(Sorry for the harsh language but I mean business!!!!)

So I look at the next month - I need a mini goal or focus. What do I want to accomplish by when?? I'm motivated for the Disney goal, but I need a mini goal to help me get there. (I'll also need similar goals after Disney to keep going!!!)

I actually have a little trip planned in August! Our Mops group is heading to convention - so I'll be spending about 4 days away from the family! So my gaol is to be below 190 by then. Right now I'm at 197, my June low was 193. I'm actually hoping for 187 - I don't know why, but anything below 190 would be AWESOME!!! I'm pleased that I'm officially below the 200's and I'm not going back. So I'd like to be officially below the 190's. If I remember correctly 185 is where I started before I got pregnant before baby #3. Well - maybe it was 175/180. But then, that was my old scale too - so ti really was probably closer to 190(since it was about 10 pounds nicer than reality!) But mentally - I'm looking for what I used to see on the scale, even if it wasn't accurate.

Another positive note - I've been trying on shorts and capris from my former life - just 1 size smaller - a 14. They fit! Not very flattering though -but I don't think I'd be too uncomfortable in them either - just need the right shirt to hide any puff. So I'll wait a bit longer and hopefully be in them before the Mops convention. I wore 1 suitable pair to church this morning!

Strawberry Sabotage

So I last wrote that I was going to take a run. Update: no run.

I don't know where my mind was, but the following day was set aside for family fun at the amusement park. So it really wasn't an option.

Monday came and I went strawberry picking with my mom and 1 child. We did alot of running around town - apparently there was a bad rain storm last week and wiped out the crops. So we were lucky to get what we did and fortunately one farm in town was unaffected. So I went out and bought a zillion strawberries. 16 quarts to be exact.

So now I'm processing all these berries before they go horribly bad. Yesterday I cleaned and froze 2 cookie sheets worth. I also made a strawberry pie - yum!!

Today my mother came over and we make 6 batches of jelly - that would be 17 jars sitting in my kitchen right now. My mom took 3 quarts of berries home with her. So I'm left with about 3-4 quarts. I want to clean them and either freeze them plain or lightly sugar them and freeze them. Maybe keep some for shortcake.

The life of a strawberry is short.

And now I'm exhausted. Maybe it's the extra sugar rush from the pie and I'm crashing... but it's alot of work!! So running is not on the list until later. I need to recoup. There's alot that's been neglected lately and my patience is thin with the kids. Fortunately I have preprepped meals or we'd be in extra trouble.

I want all this done, but there's so much else I want to do too. I've pretty much chucked the low carb diet for this week. I am enjoying the strawberries and making it through the week.

On the Verge

So it's finally summer. Well, I shouldn't speak so soon... it's been barley 65 the past two days - with the extra bonus of rain. I think we've exceeded our rainfall for the year already - so - AWESOME! (dripping with sarcasm... even that pun...)


Okay - so summer - refocus. It's summer and I'm hearing about and reading about everyone running. Not too surprising... but now I'm feeling left out. Like there's this big block party of runners and they're running a few blocks from my house so I won't be included. Which is totally absurd - I could join the runners, but I need to watch House Hunters and dream about the vacation home we'll never have. I feel like I'm missing out on this bond - this runners bond because I once attempted a habit of running. I ran a 5K - I entered the club!(metaphorically speaking) but I'm missing out on the friendship because I slipped out the back door and haven't been coming to practice.

I didn't know what I would miss. What I'm missing.

But my hip hasn't been the same since my long run before the 5K. Sometimes even just walking it goes out of place and I'm hobbling a bit. I'm not sure how much it would cost to go see a chiropractor... alot since our insurance sucks. And I don't want to go for multiple visits - just one to *fix it.*

But I feel like if I don't get out there and run soon - I'm going to burn up. You know how when you've rested a few days, unfortunately out of your routine, but then you come back with more strength and energy than you've had in a workout in a long time?? Well - that's what I feel like. I'm done being a sloth - I need to sprint! Of course, that's not super healthy to just skip the warm up and sprint - but I'm busting at my energy seems here! And although I've done some good workouts - it's not the same. I need to get out of the studio, away from the videos and Just GO.

Just Go.
I think tomorrow - I'll Just Go.

The Truth

I almost didn't WI today - until I realized it was Friday and time to do it. I'm glad I did.

My weight today was 195.3 lbs. 1.9 lb gain from last week. It was actually a whole pound higher earlier in the week, so I'm okay with this!

I'm not really okay with it, but I've discovered a bit about what and how I can eat this week.

I can not just load up on carbs. But any carbs will not destroy my day - even sweet ones. I just need to keep them in check and not over do it. So Pizza Hut was not a good idea, especially followed by DQ.

I'm not sure why I went do far off plan. The sweets have just been screaming my name this week. Every night I've had something sweet - usually with milk, which also has carbs.

But I noticed that as long as I did good during the day - I still lost a little weight even with some sweets at night. Now this doesn't mean I want to continue this trend - but it's not all or nothing either. There is a point to continue making healthy, low-carb choices during the day. It's worth making the effort, even though I'm tired of doing so.

I remind myself too that I lost weight doing this. I'm solidly below 200 lbs now... even going off plan this week - and that makes me happy. And that makes me want to continue.

Last night we had an awesome dinner - my husband said the best thing I've cooked in a long time. Chicken Cordon Bleu. It was awesome!! Not too hard.. but I wouldn't just whip it up everyday. With a side of broccoli, it was a great low card dinner that I didn't need to feel deprived or different.

I also need to get to the gym more, I've lacked on that considerable. My mom is joining the Y again this week - so we're going tomorrow. I slept in today so I missed one of my favorite classes. Sleep - it's worth it sometimes!

A day turns into a streak...

So I've not been a very good low carb dieter. I strive to do low carb alot of the time... even with my snacks. But then I've reached my breaking point and I say "Forget it! What can I eat?!?"

I think it's the stress. My husband is in the midst of changing jobs - or switching jobs. It's a confusing mess. He took a job at another company - but then his current job counter offered. But it's taken 7 business days and it's not even official yet. He ~ I mean ~ we decided that he would take the counter offer and stay with the current company. More money - yeah! But he's turning down a job in the field he went to school for - at a *nice* company. (Their good to their employees and are stable)His current company is big, but there's alot of red tape(aka BS) that makes things unfavorable. Hopefully this raise and new manager makes the difference. I'm just not sure what the right decision is. The decision is pretty much made... but it's been stressful. I really just want my husband to be happy and enjoy what he does. I think he wants to feel appreciated and respected for his work. It's also stressing me out that he hasn't told this other company yet. He's waiting until everything is on paper - which is good... but I feel bad when his start date is continually approaching. I don't do good with confrontation - it's not even me who has to deal with it... but it bothers me.

So, I spent the afternoon with a friend and her brood of kids. Nice, but there's alot of kids and it takes some work since they're so young. I kept wanting to sneak a snack. Shortly after she left and the kids started to squabble - it was decided. Pizza Hut tonight. Apparently I have not conquered the stress eating monster within. And right now - I don't care. I'll have a salad, try to avoid extra crust, maybe even get thin crust... I won't make things as bad as possible - but I've been craving this for a week now... and I might as well enjoy it and move on.

Weekend Splurge

Okay - I knew it was coming... and it came. I hope it's left. I had a carb splurge. I was kinda pissed that I did it, but I really didn't want to do the effort to stay on track. Sometimes I just want to eat - I don't want to prepare food. If someone gave me low carb easy access food - I'd be perfect. But it's alot of work and effort to make sure I have something decent to eat throughout the day!

I think tomorrow will show how much "damage" was done. I really was off about 1-2 days. I kept making low carb choices as much as possible - then follow it with a brownie.

I know being consistent is a huge key in all this. Time is ticking and I want to make more progress before our Disney trip.

Today was very up and down for me. I was emotionally drained with some things going on in our lives and after everything at church today - I was just spent. Any talking from the kids was too much and I had to go grocery shopping - and I just didn't want to. Of course I get home 10 minutes before dinner... so I need to make dinner. Let's just top it off with a big dose of guilt because it's Father's day and I've done about as little as possible to make the father of my children feel special. And I'm probably the only person on Facebook not willing to wish all father's a happy special day. I'm boycotting - because I hate feeling like I *have to* do anything.

Anyways - my emotions were all over the place - taking my energy with it. At one point it occurred to me that maybe this was the after affects of sugar on my system.

You should be proud though - I am!!! I skipped the Jamocha shake calling my name on the way home!

And something happened after dinner... I started prepping food for the week... here's a list of everything I accomplished in the kitchen - without it feeling like a big chore!

-cut and cleaned lettuce
-trimmed and cleaned spinach
-caramelized a batch of onions(for hamburgers and hot dogs)
-shredded a block of cheese
-made a mini quiche(good for 2 days - hopefully I'll love and not need to make eggs every morning!)
-started a pork roast
-Made my salad for tomorrow
-Made kids sandwiches for tomorrow(headed to the peninsula)

Weigh In!

It's nice to look forward to a WI!

Confession, I forgot about the WI last night and let myself go off plan. It started with a slice of pizza - which turned into 3. But it was thin crust and I counted all 40 carbs.

That was the door that opened up t a few chocolate covered pretzels and a small bowl of ice cream. It was small because it was almost gone. Otherwise it would have been more.

I was mad once I ate all that stuff so I did a good ab workout while watching TV. If I had remembered the WI, I might have curbed that eating a bit - but honestly, I felt a carb binge coming on. I just hope it's out of my system so I can be strong this weekend.

So what are the results?? I'm still down! -even from yesterday! So I'm extremely happy about that!

I weigh 193.4 lbs. I'm down 2.3 lbs this week! And 4.3 lbs for the month! I'd love to double that by the 4th of July. That would be amazing to be in the 180's again!!! Part of me thought I'd only be 185 by the time we went to Disney in October... so this is great! Obviously, I have some work to do - but I'm still in the groove and have the motivation.

I need some new recipes though. I need more than hamburgers and chicken breast. I don't care for steak much... One thing that's helped me is to have caramelized onions to use as a topping. It helps me eliminate the ketchup and makes hot dogs a million times better ~tastes like sausage! But I'm going to need something more to continue strong.

I'm also battling with my thought process that "I am not going to miss out on life and not eat certain foods of summer." For example - strawberry desserts. We always pick our own berries and make jam... which I can avoid. But I hate to not have any desserts... and really, I shouldn't eat berries at all, although I've had a few already this season. It'll be a trade off for sure if I decide to indulge. M=The other part of me just says "bite the bullet and lose the weight now."

Mental Games

I'm in such a groove with Low Carb eating. My only down falls are too many nuts and too much sugar free pudding made w/ milk and heavy cream. It's just calories - they add up!

I am trying to keep it all in check, I should pre-portion, but I haven't done that yet. Maybe next week.

I can't wait for Friday for an official WI. I'm already down about 2 pounds over the weekend. Who HOo!!! Weekend Power!!!

I usually go off track over the weekend, and believe me, my heart wasn't always in it, but I was motivated to see results. That's what I love about LC, I see results almost everyday. I just need to keep the momentum going(see last post about my sabotage habits.)

So, mental games.. that is the title of this post. Well - it's funny, I don't see the big picture. If you ask me how much weight I lost - I don't really know. From when? I can tell you yesterday's weight loss... but I often want to think of it in terms of a dietary change. What I remember and recall is how much weight I might have lost before I went off plan and put part of it(if not all of the weight) back on. I'm lost in the daily numbers and forget to see the bigger picture. Although despite that, I'm very excited to see the changes in my body and how my clothes fit differently. So in my mind I've only lost a few pounds on LC, despite being on it for about 6 weeks. But, if I look at the numbers I've lost 5-7 pounds on LC and alot of it recently(started taking more vitamins and supplements) and I am more dedicated and making more progress.

Another mental road block is that I feel like every bump in the journey is a new start. Sure - each day is a new day - always an opportunity to make the right/healthy choices, "but I only lost .7 lbs on that journey and 1.4 on that journey - don't forget the 2 pounds I gained on this journey!!!" and all I see and feel are this small losses and gains and it doesn't add up to much and I feel like I haven't really lost anything. In reality - I have! I've lost about 10 pounds in the past couple months! I have a new norm in my weight!

So it's worth it, I'm motivated, I just need to step back and look at my progress because my mind is playing tricks on me. Maybe I'm just sugar deprived(which I am!) but I'm so excited to be seeing results even if my mind is not always feeling it.

Low Carb Continues

Not too long ago I decided to commit to LC for another month - really dedicate to it to make a difference. My TOM wasn't the most helpful but I didn't get too far off track - although it did make the scale say some nasty things. I've been walking and exercising this week. I have been taking Zumba Toning every Wednesday - I really like it. Then I do arms at home twice a week and if I don't do arms, I'll do abs. Not hours in the gym, but something I can continue doing during a busy summer.

Plus I think my arms are shaping up.

So I WI today - well, everyday really. :) I know it's not *healthy* to do so, but it encourages me for the most part. So how was today?? My best yet!!! I'm officially lower than my WW weight. 196.3 lbs!

I've been looking forward to getting to this point for over a week now. It makes me realize that if I just stay consistent, I'll see results.. but 1 or 2 days off really sets me back a week. Because it's hard to get fully on track again - I went up in weight for a few days and then I have to re lose that weight - which is usually fairly easy - but next thing yah know 5-7 days have gone by and it's the weekend again. Let's repeat the cycle shall we?!?! NOOO!!!

I'm tired of repeating the cycle. I won't get anywhere very fast that way - which I'm obviously aware of. So this month of dedication is really important.

What else did I do this week? Well I tried two new recipes. One was a no bake jello cheese cake - it's so gross. It should be good, but it's not. I never have been a huge cheese cake person... there goes $5 down the tube. Glad I didn't go organic on that one! I also made a Florentine style ground beef creamy dish. It looks good... it doesn't taste horrible... but it needs something, like noodles or toast to put it on. I can only eat a few bites plain. So it's not going very fast, and I really don't want to eat it. Last night I had a big salad and a portion of the beef. I only ate a third or a half of the beef.

I've been eating alot less lately. At lunch time, I have been eating something smaller- then getting busy. I think it's mostly because I don't want to cook for myself anymore. I cook eggs for breakfast everyday and a hamburger at some point, either for lunch, dinner or an evening snack. My floor is so greasy!!! A few days I ate way too many peanuts, but I haven't been cheating except for maybe a bite here and there - and really, it's 2 bites a day.

I can continue this, I just need to control my environment. For example - tonight my daughter is having a sleep over... my husband suggested something fun, like Pizza Hut. I think I'm going to veto that one... we can have frozen pizza at home and I can eat a salad I'll actually enjoy and have a burger. Pizza Hut would throw off my weekend, and we just came to realize how bad that can be for me.

Update on Today

Yeah - I totally let today get out of hand. The only positive is I have a kitchen stocked with low carb foods and I strength trained my arms. Want to look good in those sleeveless shirts!!!

Tomorrow's a new day. I think it's TOM that's pulling me down. Once I get this month's hurtle out of the way I'll be awesome. Stupid hormones.

1 Month

What difference can 1 month make??

Let's find out!

I was walking with my mom yesterday and was talking about my progress from the last month. I seem to do well for most of the week then slowly - or quickly - fall apart. Sometimes I make good low carb choices, but I'm still eating things you shouldn't eat initially, like low carb pasta or a little sugar in the sauce... whatever.

So she pointed out that there's no major holidays or events coming up and that maybe I should just try to stay really focus for a period of time, say until July 4th, the next major holiday. I didn't realize until later that it was June 4th. Seems possible. I'm fairly proud of how I'd done this past month, although I wish I would have done better. But I'm still excited about the inches lost. It means alot to mean that my middle is shrinking even if the scale doesn't show it.

So I did excellent yesterday. I even passed on the leftover mexican food that was rightly mine. Loaded with carbs - so I skipped it. I wanted to cheat later - but I figured if I passed on the amazing food at lunch, I wasn't about to cheat on something dumb like bread. So I stayed strong.

Today - I was doing great. Went to Burger King with my son and didn't eat a single fry. But a few hours later when we got home - I realized I had no snacks... I ate a handful of fries. I then at a slice of pizza leftover from the night before. At least it was thin crust.

I didn't track yesterday - but I just tracked all my food for today, even the awful mistakes. I'm way over at 54 carbs, but only 1100 calories. I can save this day(caloricly) by eating a salad for dinner. I still need to finish the grocery shopping, and that will help with the snack problem. I think I will make a list of available foods - so I don't blank out and go for something easy and full of carbs.

I feel like I'm on the verge of making progress, I just have to get back on track. That starts tonight!

Re-evaluate

Okay - May is over. I have measurements. I'm down 3.1 lbs for the month and lost 1.5 inches in my waist and 1 inch in my hips. I really like that I lost inches. I'm glad that I lost some weight this month.

My monthly goal is to loose 5 pounds a month.

So is low carb really the answer??

Well, it's 3.1 lbs more than I have been losing. It's more inches than I have been melting off, so yes, I guess it's worth it. I can handle low carb most of the times and it's somewhat easy to adjust when I'm out. I do miss some carbs - some more than others. It's funny, last night I had 1.5 bowls of my high fiber cereal and I was mad that I ate it... before low carb that would have been a good snack.

So where do I go from here? At this rate I'll only lose about 15 pounds before Disney. That's like, 1 dress size. Not what I was hoping for, although it would be nice. Anything would be nice at this point!!!

So - I need to re-evaluate. Why is low carb not doing wonders as I hear so much about??

Well - I'm not being super strict. I'm not counting carbs or calories. And the past two days I've been mentally yelling at myself to "Start acting like you're on a diet!!!"

I also seem to be stalling at this weight of 197.7 lbs. I can't seem to get below it, but I'll keep coming back to it. That's nice, but I need to start losing and stop cheating.

So here's my plan:
1. TRACK!!!
2. Limits: Carbs 40 or below. Calories 1500-1600.
3. Plan for exercise. I'm canceling my gym membership do to Mike switching jobs and taking a pay cut. So now I'll have to be more determined to get good quality exercise in at home.

I think it's a good simple plan. Almost too simple. One of the reasons I like low carb is because I don't need to track as much. Well - I think I do. And I've been in the mindset lately that - just bite the bullet, suck it up and do the annoyingly hard work and lose the weight. Then you can relax, maintain and enjoy the things you "missed." So I think I will apply that to tracking. I hate it, it sucks - but lets do it for a few months - get results and move on. But if I don't do this, I'm just wasting my time and getting frustrated with little results.

I'm tired of wasting my time. It's time to pay attention and get results. I'm using SparkPeople to track. And actually - when you're on a diet and eat pretty much the same things all the time - it's easy to track. I just enter and group my meals - and it's all done.

May is Almost Over

I took measurements on May 2nd. I did this because I was going to attempt the 30 Day Shred. Instead I switched a low carb lifestyle. And I've kept with it! So I want to measure myself again at the end of the month. I was going to do it today, until I realized it was the 30th and not the 31st. I could potentially wait until the 2nd as well. Not sure what I'll do. I don't want to wait - but it would be nice to have an extra day or two to get the weekend weight off. I'm a pound higher than last week, but I'm sure it was from the camp trip. I did prematurely measure myself because my pants fit so much better. I discovered I had lost an inch around my waist and my hips. Not alot of weight... but obviously some fat. My workouts have fallen short lately, so it's not because I'm extra toned and fit. It's nice to know I'm melting some fat off in this low carb lifestyle. :)

Update on Stats

Wow - well I just updated my stats on the sidebar... and I was impressed - because something finally changed!

Finally!

So I met my first short term goal of losing 5 lbs. My second of course losing another 5 lbs. I'm getting close to that! Hopefully within a week I'll get there!

I'm still hoping to lose 5 pounds a month until Disney. Sometimes that seems unrealistic - since I have a history of not losing weight. But I'm seeing some results with low carb. It's daunting to think I would be low carb until October - or even longer... but I am seeing results. So it's worth the effort.

I had a nice surprise today. I put on a new pair of capri pants and they fit much better! They used to give me horrible muffin top, it was just stiff in the waist. Well today there was virtually no bulge!! I wasn't a tight muscle model or anything, but at least these are a viable pair of pants now! So maybe I am melting off fat and not just water weight.

Still on Play + WI

Well, I weighed in today - and finally the scale shows a good number the day of my WI. So frustrating to go up the day of your WI when for days you've been lower. So today I'm at my lowest, 197.7 lbs. 1.1 more lbs and I'll be at my lowest WW weight. Which was from about a year ago exactly.

I'm having a rough time during this low carb induction. Not following the rules, although I'm not always 100% strict. but Friday night I started feeling sick. I thought it was food poisoning because it came on pretty suddenly after eating out. It's been on and off all weekend. So at times I'm eating carbs because I think it's the only thing my stomach will stomach (like cereal or tortilla chips.) But it did go away and we had a nice birthday picnic - where I stayed on track. Well, except for a half piece of cake, but I'm okay with that.

For the most part I'm pushing thru, but my husband keeps questioning if it's not the diet that's making me feel crappy. I'm not sure, but I doubt it. I think I have a mild flu or food poisoning. I'm starting to think it's the chicken and bruchetta I've been eating for lunch. I'm going to throw it out today and not touch it anymore!!

Overall, I've been doing great and seeing results. Although I wasn't perfect this weekend, I still think I succeeded. I made sure I had healthy low-carb options and despite not feeling great, I stuck to them almost the whole time unless I thought it was necessary. Mike commented how impressed he was that I've been so diligent with this diet. He thinks I need a reward. I wont' argue - but I haven't lost that much weight yet! I don't feel right being rewarded till I reach a new low.

Carb Detox

Okay - so yesterday I went off plan because I was going to a birthday dinner that was all carbs. I was good the rest of the day, and I could have been better - but oh well.

I started out today on track. But I came home - and I had to make lunch. I just didn't want to *make* anything else!! I think it was partially the weather and feeling blah - but it was just too much effort to cook up a batch of chicken(which I should have done earlier in the week) - so I had a bowl of noodles. And cake. And more cake.

I have since had a cookie and more cake.

Ugh. I must say though - my stomach is NOT happy. This shouldn't be shocking... but it kind of is for me. I've never felt a down side to carbs.. except that I would want more. Typical stuff.

But I feel over stuffed and just kinda sickly gross. Too much pure sugar.

So tomorrow I need to detox the sugar and carbs out of my system and get serious. I think I'll throw away the remaining cake before I go to bed. And the cookies. On the up side, I guess this means I was making some progress, right?

5K Mental Recap

It's really weird. I've heard several stories about how those who completed their first 5K had a great sense of accomplishment. Plus it motivated them to continue running or tackling big tasks like weight loss.

Yeah - that wasn't me.

I got it done, but I don't feel that it was done very well. It was rather pathetic. Not that I know the time yet... I would have walked except my husband was there with me - cheering me on. Which was great. My goal was to run the whole time and not walk - so I did accomplish that, against my own desires... but it was done. But I just didn't feel good about the run. So I'm not that excited or proud of it.

The part that bothers me is people keep congratulating me on it. I don't feel like it was anything great - I'm prouder of much simpler things than that and if you were there - you'd probably could have done better!

Sigh... I know some people don't accept praise or compliments well - and I'm not much different. So maybe that's all this is, but I really don't feel that I did anything special.

Sorry this isn't a very inspirational post! Maybe it's the crappy weather - I just feel crappy towards everything.

It's Pays to Behave!

So yesterday I went low carb to get back on track and jump start my diet again. It sucked in alot of ways. I love carbs. I was a bit grouchy and depressed. But I didn't cheat once, unless you call peanuts cheating.

But it was worth it. I was down almost 2 pounds today! I went from 201.3 to 199.4 lbs. That's just what I needed to keep strong and keep the carbs out of my diet.

This afternoon I slightly caved but in the process found a new snack I plan on abusing in the future.

I made the kid ghetto pizzas for lunch. A slice of bread, sauce, cheese and pepperoni. I did have a slice. But then later, I just pulled the cheese and pepperoni off, apparently I made too much.

It was awesome. So all I need to do is figure a way to make this without it burning or sticking to anything. I think I should be able to manage this in the toaster oven somehow...

Anyways - I'm looking forward to the pounds melting off!! At my low point, can only get better, right?

Back to the drawing board....

I hate it when I have a good streak going and then I mess it all up. And I decide - well, I've already cheated - might as well enjoy all my favorite things and then start over...

So that's pretty much what I'm doing. Saturday night we had friends over. I'm pretty much no carb at this point.. and managed for several days. I had mostly salad and 1 slice of pizza - with as little crust as I could make look normal. But then we got the snacks out. And there was nothing good for me except the dip.

So I cheated... alot. Not binge worthy, just should not have let myself go that far.

Sunday(today) was not much different. And I made sure to eat everything I haven't been. Things like cereal. and a Jamoca shake from Arby's.

So tomorrow I'll be back at the low carb. It's my WI day. I hate Monday WI days. I haven't been doing the shred... it was too much with getting ready for the 5K and cleaning house. Don't think I'll do that though. I'm really relying on the low carb thing to melt some fat. I'll still exercise - but I think while my body is adjusting, it'll be too strenuous some days... and I'm already walking a tight rope initially - so I don't need more room for failure.

Well, I'll talk more about the 5K soon... and let you know how the low carb thing is working.

3 Days Behind

(Whoops! meant to post this last night!)
I'm still doing the 30 day shred. Life is just busy now. Sure - I'm conflicted with the 5K just 4 days away - but I also have to organize clothes to take somewhere tomorrow - I have a Spa party I need to prep for on Saturday, I"m babysitting tomorrow afternoon and have a meeting Thursday morning... There's only so much time in a day!

So today - I don't think I could have done much more. I am shocked I did the 30DS. I did it at 10:30 at night. I was in the kitchen all day making a meal to take to a new mom. But I was also babysitting 4 extra kids, plus my two. It was work!!! The ages were 4, 3(almost 4), 2, 1(almost 2), and twins who are almost 1. It's crazy - but there's nap time for all but two.

Here's what I accomplished in the kitchen today:
-Chicken Bruchetta Pasta w/ spinach
-buttered noodles with peas(for the twins)
-boiled eggs(for devilled eggs)
-marinated chicken for tomorrow
-cooked an awesome dinner of roast pork, broccoli rabe, and leftover bruchetta pasta
-homemade ice cream
-homemade strawberry sauce for the ice cream
-breakfast: spinach, onions and eggs
-lunch: three grilled cheese sandwiches + cut up a whole cantaloupe

I think that's it. You can imagine the dishes. Which are all done - except for the ice cream ones! I also wanted to prep taco stuffed green peppers because they're going to go bad soon... plus I had the water boiling, it would have been a good time. But everyone was hungry.

So I started 30DS on May 2nd, I should be on day 8 but I'm on day 5. I'm nervous about starting the second week - although this week is getting much easier. I still hate it for a few moments here and there, but it moves on and soon I realize I'm at the last part or an easier part. I know Level 2 is bad... but you won't make changes in your body by continuing what you like!

Running Update

So my first 5K is only 6 days away!!!

I'm a bit nervous - or at least, I was. I'm very confused.

I went for a run this evening - I've had it planned for days now. I wanted to run outside- preferably a full 5K. I figure I might run 1 more time this week(Tues or Wed) and do a shorter run(20 minutes?)

Well, I set out for the run, not knowing how farm the loop would be, but knowing it takes me about 40 minutes to run a 5K on the treadmill. I decided to run for 40 minutes. Well, I ran for 33 minutes. I thought it was pretty pathetic, I'm much better on the treadmill.

Shortly after I got home, my husband got in the car and tracked it. He said I got 3.2 miles. I'm not sure how accurate the car is... or the treadmill for that matter. So I'm really clueless. Did I run a 5K(with HILLS!) in 33 minutes?

I guess I won't really know anything until Saturday!

Days 3 & 4

Well - Days 3 & 4 were kind of a bust. Actually, I big bust.

Very busy days and I've been very overwhelmed and stressed out and sure - I could have done the 30DS at 9 after the kids went to bed - but I wasn't up for it after almost pulling my hair out putting whiny kids to bed. It's been a long week because my husband has been out of town.

I was hoping to only skip 1 day - and Wednesday I had no intention of skipping - but due to a rough night and probably so much exercise on Tuesday - I was exhausted and had no energy or muscle strength for anything. I was whipped. Thursday I was busy from sun up to sun down.

So today there's no excuses. I definitely have more energy today. Still another busy day - but I do have time for 20 minutes! And I already got the workout in. It feels good to test certain muscles. Not all... but some! I actually hate the arm/chest exercises more than any of the legs and butt. Oh well.

Day 2

Deep Breath...

Still recovering from my morning workouts. Today I went to the gym and got in a long run. I didn't really have a plan initially - I suppose I should consult some training plans like C25K or something, but I'm just winging it. So my plan ended up being to run for an hour. Endurance training, right? I did a lower speed, 4.5 most of the time. Incline anywhere from 0-2. I was doing pretty well until about 40 minutes in. My stomach was at it's limit and I thought I might get sick. I slowed down... it wavered... then I realized - Nope! I need to use the bathroom! Well, at 45 minutes I called it quits and hightailed to the bathroom. I did walk a bit more to help cool down and bring the pink color back out of my face!

So I stopped at home real quick for a slice of PB toast before picking up my son from preschool. Once home I situated all the kids and headed down to the basement.

30 DS was on!! I could already feel the energy from the carbs bc I was bouncing around before it started. Conserve your energy- moron!!

Day two was tough - but mostly because I had a long(er) run beforehand. I used some lighter weights at times, but I got through it. I know I'll be sore and feeling it tomorrow.

I'm very motivated right now. I'm excited about changing my body and making a difference even by June. I feel like it's possible now to reach my Disney goals. I want it so bad!!!

Today for lunch I'm having 4 oz grilled chicken with .4 oz moneray cheese and 2 TBS bruchetta. AWESOME!!

Sick of it!!! Change ahead!

Okay. I need to do something!!

I've been reevaluating where I am on my weight loss journey. I need results. I did find some results from avoiding late night eating and going low carb. I plan on continuing these activities.

But the gym. I guess I'm thinking about it's effectiveness because my mom just quit the gym. She had to in order to save for our Disney trip. No worries - she has plans to continue exercise at home.

But is the gym helping me? Is it helping me achieve results? I don't know that it is. It does give me childcare so I can have uninterrupted time to exercise. But I can(and do) do weights at home. I don't do as much cardio - because it's harder to find longer kid-free blocks of time.

My mind started turning when I missed the gym one day but still want to get some exercise in. By evening, I really didn't want to do anything - but I decided to anyways. I knew I had the 30 Day Shred in the basement - and I could handle 20 minutes. I know it's a good workout and it does make a difference. So I did it.

A few days later at the gym, I saw the infomercial for TurboFire by Beach Body. I was really thinking about getting that workout. But the results they were talking about just didn't see to be impressive enough for me. I do like the idea that there's alot of variety in the workout to chose from, and different length of workouts. Because honestly - sometimes 20 minutes is all I have or want to do.

Well, it's also expensive, $120 + tax & shipping. And I wonder - would I really devote the time to get the results? I don't follow the other workouts I have, like Turbo Jam and 30 Day Shred, will I really use the videos to the full extent?

I mentioned it to my mom - about wanting to get results. She said I probably just need to melt some fat off, to see the muscle I have underneath. It's probably more about diet at this point for me. I'm fit, I'm strong, I have no willpower.

So what am I going to do?

I decided not to buy the DVD. It looks like alot of work with questionable results. I did see result with Turbo Jam - but let's be honest - Turbo Fire looks even harder!! Not sure I would do it consistently if it's too similar to TJ.

So I decided to do the 30 Day Shred. I did day 1 already. I'm giving myself a bit of slack and allowing a day of rest if I need it. I imagine Sundays... but we'll see. I also plan on running 2-3 times per week(gotta use the gym membership!) So there might be a day after a longer run where a workout is just ridiculous. But I'm going to do it and continue with my low carb eating. I expect to see great results. I was searching online to see success stories... most people didn't lose much weight, but they were already low in weight(140's). I'm just as excited to see a change in my body. I'm so frustrated with not losing weight and still hovering around 200 lbs. It can't be this way!!!

I can't wait to report the results in 30 days!!

Week Recap - Shocking WI

So, I pretty much went off the deep end this week. And as soon as I did - I stopped getting on the scale. I'm sure this is a huge metaphor for denial and how I handle things in real life - but I'm a busy mom who doesn't want to think too hard about these things. Shocking, right? ;)

Anyways - I was very overwhelmed with the busy week we had and the kids were especially frustrating and I turned to my good friend sugar and carbs to help me along the way. At times I would try to turn things around - but then there would be a perfect excuse to just eat "normal" and I would take it.

I'm still not on track - hopefully tomorrow. But tonight there too many goodies in the house.

I did weigh in this morning - because it's the first of the month, the start of my week. It was shocking.

Truly shocking.

Well, I thought so. I was 201.0 lbs. What?!?! That doesn't make sense!!! I'm thrilled, I'm not at the lowest ever - but pretty darn low for me!!! I don't understand how over eating - and switching back to carbs and I lost weight???

So today - I should have just jumped right back on track - and I did do breakfast right. But alas - I've eaten very poorly. I'm over stressed this week with my husband out of town... and I don't know what up with my kids - but super drama whiny all over the place! UGH!!!

So I had a wine cooler with dinner. Actually - as soon as we were home... I think it helped. My daughter was hysterically crying for about an hour... calming down just enough because I couldn't understand her otherwise.

So looking at next week - I really want to kick up the exercise. I have easy dinners planned, so at least I can avoid eating out. I also have a new low carb plan for lunches which should help ALOT.

Making Strides

So I've been kicking butt getting exercise and pushing myself further. Very happy about this. For the first time in a while, I can feel sore muscles. This was mostly due to Monday. I meant to get to the gym, but there were other obligations I needed to get to for the family. So that evening, still dressed to workout yet never having done it - I went into the basement. I didn't want to, so I picked a short workout but one that gives great results. Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. I don't plan on devoting the next 30 days to this, but it was a nice change and I'll probably work it into the routine.

Today I went to the gym early and got my run in. It's the first time since last week, since I hurt my knee. I meant to have my knee brace, but I was in such a rush it didn't make it! Anyway, I headed to some hidden machines that will allow you to choose up to 60 minutes of exercise. I like this idea, because when most machines are limited to 30 minutes, it's just too tempting to stop at 30. or 28 + cool down...

So I ran for 45 minutes and completed my first 5K in about 41 minutes!!! WHOO HOOO!!! That was my goal, to do a 5K. I know I can do it on the treadmill - I know I can keep active for that length of time... I need to work up my stamina a bit more before I try it on the road... but I'm pretty pleased with myself!

I'm not sure what a "good" time is for a 5K, and it's really personal, I think - but I would like to complete it under 40 minutes. 18 days until the big race!

In the mean time, I'm still attempting to recover from the carb overload on Sunday. It's coming off slowly, but yesterday got away from me, unintentionally. I had no plan or resources for lunch... so it was grazing... dinner slipped away as well and we had pizza - full of carbs. So today I'm trying to be especially good - I want to see the scale go below 200 this week. IT WILL!!!

Official Weigh In

My official weight for the week is 200.2 lbs. SO CLOSE to getting below 200 lbs. This week.

Today, Easter dinner - was amazing. I haven't eaten so much in a long time. I also snacked alot this evening on all the chocolate and candy I won't be eating the rest of the week. I gave away all the cookies, except maybe half a dozen for the family. I'm ready to get back on track tomorrow, although I probably won't check the scale!

Happy Easter!

Week Recap

This week has been amazing. I'm still going strong low carb. I don't always hit my goal of 100 carbs, but I usually am below 1600 calories. Which is amazing for me. I've done pretty well avoiding carbs in the evening, and in general not eating at night. I could have done even better last week, but I lost a good solid 2 pounds. So the beginning of this week was gaining control and getting back on track. I've certainly done that. I am so amazed that I'm sticking to this diet and am seeing results. I'm going to use tomorrow as my official WI for the week instead of Monday - because let's face it, Easter is going not going to go well for me.

I've been planning for Easter all week. I have low carb snacks, whole low carb foods, and I think if I just take a moment, I can plan my carbs in advance. But I don't think I can resist lemon cake or the homemade dinner rolls. And I should be polite and eat the jello salad and corn casserole.

My exercise for the week has been fairly good. I injured my knee Monday when I ran 2.5 miles. I didn't know it at the time, but it's gotten worse throughout the week. Friday I put a knee brace on and that made a huge difference. I wish I had thought of it sooner... Today's weather was amazing - I wish I could have gone for a run. We've had two and half times as much rain this season - so it's hard to believe the weather is going to get better... but it has to eventually. I still made it to the gym most every day, although I skipped today to clean. It all evens out.

So I'll let you know how tomorrow goes with the WI, I'm so excited! Although my carbs today are high - 160. But I'm still under 1600 calories. It was a good day. Darn those cookies I made.

Summary of the Week

Well, this week I went low carb. My aim was 100 carbs per day and to stay around 1600 calories. I think I did fairly well - especially considering I was on my monthly - in which case, I did AWESOME!!!

So I waited until today to summarize the week because Monday was the first true day I went low carb. I lost 2.6 lbs!!! It could have been better - earlier in the week I was down about another pound, but I just couldn't keep it up. I don't know if it was hormones or cravings from a different diet.. but I just caved for about two days. I did start to pull it back together - but I realized I need a way to satisfy my sweet tooth. There has to be something.

Well, when you're low carb, the best alternative is not fruit - it's a sugar free snack. Sugar free is not "whole foods" friendly. So I've been very torn about it all. Which also explains the binging. I resist any sweets because they aren't low carb and eventually I cave and eat sugar until there isn't any! Sugar isn't exactly "whole foods" friendly either. Especially the kind I'm eating - processed junk from the stores. OR donuts.

Anyways, last night I went to the store, stocked up on some meats and some sugar free pudding. I figure if the processed sugar I'm eating isn't healthy for me(in a whole foods sense...) then I might as well have the sugar free - if just for a season. I'm still going to go low carb and count my calories. I'm aiming to run at least three times per week and exercise more beyond that as well. I think I can manage that.

I know last week could have been better, but yah know what? It shows me that it works, and if I can solve this sugar problem, then I think I'll have alot more success in my future. It's so depressing to know that I've been "eatign healthy" and making "healthy choices" and trying really hard and have not lost more than 5 pounds since the new year. I know I should have cut my calories back long before... that was a big problem of mine. But sometimes it's just too much and you're just not ready to devote the time to counting calories. But I am now. I want to make a difference on the scale.

Losing Steam

Okay - I've had a pretty good week. Alot of resolve and dedication, more than I normally ever have. Last night was a struggle. Here it was only 6 pm and I was out of carbs and pretty much out of calories for the night. Dinner was over - and I was so desperate for dinner, it was gone pretty fast.

So what did I do?

I avoided snacking because there were no good alternatives. Well, at least until the kids went to bed at 8:30pm. I was pretty proud I didn't just stuff my face with just anything. I did search the fridge and found some carb free snacks. Crustless quiche from earlier that day. Then I realized my breakfast is pretty much carb free. So after my husband came home, I made him and me a serving of that as well.

It was late. I was eating too many calories. Well - lets see what the scale says. What are my limits?

Well, I did go up a bit, but less than a pound. Unfortunately, today's schedule wasn't agreeable for exercise. And I didn't want to eat low carb either. So what did I do?

I caved. I had cereal for breakfast(a healthy choice, but not a low carb choice) and for lunch: Chick-fil-a, a very unhealthy choice. I think I have almost kicked these cravings. Tonight we're having a game night. I'm planning on bringing a veggie tray and some cookies. I've been craving but avoiding sweets fairly well. Right now, that doesn't appeal to me, but tonight I might feel differently.I don't want to totally kill my progress this week, so my main goal is to not snack into the night. I won't lie, I'll probably have a sweet treat... but I'll have it early and be done.

Tomorrow I have a small opportunity to hit the gym. I really need to get my run in, and it should really be longer - at least 2 miles strait. Hopefully between the run and getting all these carb cravings out of the way - I'll be back on track. I can handle 1 poor eating day.

Oh - on a related note, I'm officially signed up for the 5K!!! It's happening one way or another!!! WHOO HOO!!! Go me!

Is it only Wednesday??

This week has been great. I've kept up with my running schedule of every other day plus did a fair amount of cardio on the off day. I've totally crushed the eating thing. I've been between 1500-1700 calories every day. I've also decided to limit my carbs to 100 a day. It takes a slight bit of planning - but I've done it. I've also lost 2.6 lbs and counting. And - to impress myself all the more, it's TOM again... I've been crazy disciplined - I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'll take it!!!

I'm able to handle the low carb thing, but I don't always like it. If I wasn't able to see results the next day - I wouldn't be able to do it. But I can work with it too. I can still have a cookie or candy - but then a lower carb dinner. It's actually forcing me to make healthier choices. I'm just excited to see results. I'm at my lowest weight(well, this year at least) at 202.0 lbs. I can't wait to see what it is by the end of the week.

2nd Stab at Running

MUCH BETTER!!!

I got up at 4:30 this morning, mostly because the babe was having a nightmare and was kicking his crib. So at 5 I got ready and headed out the door. I warmed up around the block then stopped back in the house to use the restroom. Didn't have to go.

So off I went, and quickly discovered my MP3 was dead. Bummer. But I just kept going. I'm not quite sure how long I went. I had to change my path because it was darker than I anticipated. I'll have to track it later in the car. But over all I ran about 22 minutes and walked another 10+ with warm up and cool down. I know I could have gone longer - but music would have helped keep the motivation alive.

I think this was a total breakthrough for me. It's not a matter of if I can or can't run a 5K, it's just a mental battle of will. I suppose I could have run for a full half hour(which was kind of an original hope for this morning) but the path I was taking was coming to an end, so I allowed myself to be done mentally at that point and it was hard for me to keep going after that.

Now I still have a long way to go. I was able to run- but it is labored. Fortunately I was reading some important tips for new runners last night, and it mentioned this. IT said that when you start running your level of fitness will go down. It went on to explain that your body needs to adapt to this new style of exercise and it can take a couple weeks. So I'm looking forward to increasing my stamina and having a morning jog be alot easier. It's nice to have my exercise out of the way for the day too.

First Stab at Running

I have been dreaming about the day when the weather would warm and I could go down to the park and run. I've run on the treadmill and a bit on a track, but never on pavement with beautiful surroundings.

So today was the day. Promise of 75 degrees and sunshine. Delivered! So Mike and I found a sitter and headed out. We had a good start - it was indeed annoyingly hard and tiresome, but did get easy after the first 5 minutes(warm up). But it was shortly after that when I realized that all this rough pavement was a little too rough on my bladder - and there wasn't much I could do about it. So rather than have an embarrassing moment - we headed back, and just in time.

I'm not sure what to do about this problem. I've had surgery before on my kidney due to a massive stone.. and afterwards walked around with a stint in for the next month. Ever since that 'stretch out' I've never been able to hold my liquids quite the same. But usually it's a non-issue. I just avoid the trampoline and running 6 miles an hour.

But now I'm not so sure.

We ended up running just short of a mile - and I stopped/walked more than I would have liked. I'm hoping to head out in the morning. There's a loop in the neighborhood that I think will work for me. I live in a hilly neighborhood, so I'm hoping to avoid most of the hills and have more of a strait run. We'll see. I think I'll have to start around 5:30 too.. I don't voluntarily get up that early.

Wish me luck!!! I really want to achieve this goal!!!

A Real Goal

Another annoyance to the regular (weight loss) bloggers out there are those who keep setting goals without actually following through or accomplishing anything.

Um, I probably fall into this category more than I care to admit.. so I'm going to ignore all the stares and just share this new goal. This REAL goal.

So, my husband went out this morning fro a trail run. He's training for some crazy marathon of a trail run in October. I was glad for him to go because all his running is on a treadmill, and I think that's cheating. (It's good for - but it's just not the same as on a track or outside.)

Anyways - it made me realize (or remember) that I'm supporting a charity walk on May 13th. There is a 5k run you can sign up for. I had always thought I would run it, but I've kind of let running fall to the wayside. I'm just not in love with it and running off a treadmill is incredibly harder for me. I think most of it is mental, but I haven't figured out how to fix that just yet.

But I realized it's only 5 weeks away - and if I want to train, that's exactly enough time. I believe the C25K is 6 weeks? Well, I'm definitely capable of being on at least week 2, so I'm not worried about that. So I think we're going to sign up for the run. We're going to run the 5K!!! I've never actually fun that far before. I usually just jump on the treadmill and run for 30 minutes... and even then I get bored and I have to keep myself from quitting. I'm sure I could do it on the treadmill, but that's the same as getting outside - with no TV and no one setting the pace for you.

But tomorrow - it's going to be beautiful. Well - warm. There's no guarantee about sunny. I think it's supposed to rain, but here in Erie, PA - that could mean anything. (even snow... but with the temps there predicting, probably not snow!)So my plan is to get to the peninsula and run. I'm hoping I'll be pleasantly surprised with myself and if I just block out the time, I'll run for a few miles.